


Merlin's Lost Will

by IAmEmrys



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cursed, M/M, Magic Revealed, Slash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-29
Updated: 2013-12-10
Packaged: 2017-12-09 21:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/778065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmEmrys/pseuds/IAmEmrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's thrown by Merlin's absolute obedience to his orders. For all of his complaining about Merlin being a terrible servant, Arthur rather liked his cheeky attitude. Merlin's obedience is doing rather a lot for Arthur's libido, but Arthur soon starts to worry there may be something darker at play. Can someone be cursed to lose their will?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merlin's Many Masters

"Yes sire. Absolutely sire."

"And then you'll polish my armor, muck out the stables, and go find that traditional dress hat you look so handsome in for the feast tonight."

"…"

 _Huh, Merlin always objects to that,_ Arthur thinks. He looks up to find Merlin nodding at him, not the faintest hint of complaint on his face. He's already started polishing the armor too. Merlin's never that quick or efficient.

"Trying a new tactic, are we? Actually performing your duties without complaint? It's a nice fit."

"Yes, sire. I endeavor to please you sire." Merlin responds.

"Wow, that's actually a little disconcerting, Merlin. You can act normal now. I know how much you hate wearing the hat. And hearing your objections is half the fun." Arthur says, startled into honesty he wouldn’t normally share by Merlin’s unusual behavior.

Arthur looks up at Merlin to see an expression of great concentration on his face. "Whatever you wish, sire." He replies at length, "If my objecting makes you happy, then I object!" There's a wide cheery grin stretching Merlin’s mouth and alighting his eyes.

"Huh" Arthur says, smiling. He doesn't understand Merlin some of the time, well, most of the time really, but he can't help but smile himself when he sees Merlin grin like that. "Alright, then."

Merlin continues to act strangely all throughout the feast. He doesn’t fill Arthur's glass until Arthur orders him too, "Why don't you take a hint and refill my goblet when it's empty, Merlin?", but then every additional time Arthur’s glass runs low Merlin is right there filling it. 

Two hours into the feast when the eating is mostly finished, Sir Gwaine greets Arthur at his table. He suggests Arthur do a princely jig to start the festivities. Arthur scowls at him, hoping to convey his extreme disapproval of Gwaine’s blatant disrespect for royalty, only to see Gwaine erupting into laughter. Well, no surprise there really. Gwaine has always been an idiot. 

“Merlin will dance for me, won’t you Merlin?” Gwaine calls turning to Merlin. “Show Arthur a proper princely jig!”

Arthur and Gwaine both shift their eyes to Merlin, waiting to hear him let Gwaine down gently. For some reason Merlin never treated Gwaine to the same scathing retorts he threw at Arthur. Arthur isn’t bitter about that in the slightest. He’s a better swordsman then Gwaine anyway, and the PRINCE! And his hair is just as soft. 

The gentle retort never came.

Merlin nodded and lifted his feet off the ground and his hands in the air and began to jump around in a rather good interpretation of a jig, hat flopping merrily along with him. Gwaine and Arthur stared at him jaws hanging open. 

Arthur didn’t even think Merlin had the coordination to dance. He notices the attention they are drawing though, especially that of his father who already questions his decision to keep Merlin as his manservant enough without needing this newest display of idiocy, and orders Merlin to stop. Merlin stops immediately.

Gwaine looks shocked, but delighted and says, "I'd prefer you keep dancing, Merlin." 

And Merlin instantly starts jumping and flailing his arms again. Arthur is incredulous. This isn't like Merlin at all. Merlin’s clumsy and easily embarrassed by dancing. Why would he make a spectacle of himself in the middle of the great hall? 

It was like Merlin was doing everything someone suggested to him without thinking for himself. Had someone dared him to act this way? Had someone cursed him? Arthur needed to investigate. Merlin would be fine here at the feast.

"Come dance with me, Merlin!" Gwaine calls, holding out his hands for Merlin's and grinning salaciously.

On second thought, Merlin was coming with him, Arthur decided as he pulled Merlin out of the great hall by the elbow.

"I'd rather if you followed me without struggle", Arthur murmured into Merlin's ear. Merlin Immediately went still, then walked after Arthur obediently, elbow slack in Arthur's hand.

Arthur was stunned at the easy obedience and a little overwhelmed with the power. He was the Prince; he was use to people doing as he asked, but not Merlin. Merlin was untamed and fiercely independent. He would snort at orders, follow his own judgment, and still often seemed surprised when someone would order him to do something. As annoying as his insubordination was, it was also what made him more of a friend to Arthur than anyone else. Gwen was sincere with him, and had become more open to speaking her mind, but even she didn't compare to Merlin who would be immediately vocal about even the smallest thing. Merlin challenged him, guided him, and supported him when he needed it. He didn't just mindlessly follow orders. This wasn't Merlin.

Merlin jerking his hand back snatched Arthur from his thoughts. Arthur turns in surprise to see Merlin had tripped. Merlin was apparently even clumsier than usual now and has taken to trailing his hand along the wall with a ridiculously childish smile on his face.

"Alright. We need to get you somewhere safe where we can sort this out. We're almost at my chambers. Just try not trip.” Arthur commands. “You look ridiculous." He adds a moment later, in case Merlin thought he was being too nice to him and began to wonder why. 

"I'm sorry sire." Merlin responds sadly.

He seems so downtrodden Arthur can’t help but pat him reassuringly on the shoulder and mumble reassuringly that “it will be alright”. It’s one of the most awkward moments of Arthur’s life. Rating right up there with twelve-year-old Morgana stopping sword practice because there was blood running down her leg even though Arthur was SURE he hadn’t injured her, and Leon trying to explain to him what “the french style” meant. Arthur was sure he was doing a terrible job of comforting, although, the ridiculously overdone expression of joy on Merlin's face would have put that of any child getting a puppy to shame. It was only slightly more emphatic than the feeling of relief Arthur experienced as he opened the door to his chambers and shoved Merlin inside.

"Sit down somewhere." Arthur instructs, turning to close and lock the door. "NOT THERE!" He shouts as he turns to see Merlin crawling up his bed. The image of Merlin crawling on his bed is too much and not at all what he needs right now.

Merlin jumps down, clearly upset to have angered Arthur. "Where would you like me, sire?"

"Just sit in the chair, Merlin." Arthur says, forcing a calmness into his tone that he doesn't feel. 

Merlin does, but he can't seem to sit still. He's moving his hand up and down the arm of the chair, stroking it and he has the most blissed out happy look on his face. It's beyond distracting. "Merlin, can you focus a little better?" Arthur demands.

"Of course, whatever you want." Merlin responds looking at Arthur directly now and finally still. Arthur finds it even harder to concentrate.

"What's wrong with you, Merlin? Why are you doing this?" He questions frustrated. 

"Nothing sire. I seek only to please you." 

Arthur inhales. He can't believe Merlin just said that. Not really Merlin though, confused, possibly-cursed Merlin. That thought doesn't stop the flush on his face and neck.

"You clearly aren't any help." Arthur needs to get out of this room. And he needs to do something. He needs to fix this strangely obedient Merlin before his mind starts wandering in dangerous directions. "I'm going to go get Gaius. Stay here where you can't mess anything up. Don't leave this room unless I tell you to…or if there's a fire or something. And try and act normal." _There. That should be sufficient,_ Arthur thinks as he heads off in search of Gaius.

It takes only a short time to find Gaius crouched behind his work bench framed by potion bottles and shrubs hanging from the ceiling. It takes considerably longer to explain what the problem is.

"Gaius, it's Merlin." Arthur begins. "He's not himself." He pauses. Gaius is looking at him intently. "He follows everyone's orders without thought. It's a problem." There. He's explained the situation succinctly and clearly.

"You're saying Merlin is following orders and it's a problem?" Gaius responds inquisitively. Arthur frowns at him. That’s not what he means. 

"That's not how I meant it. He is not himself. Something is wrong with him." He reiterates.

"You're sure he's not just being a better servant? He did promise me he would try, sire."

"Uhhh!" Arthur sighs exasperatedly. Merlin was clearly not alone in his questioning of royalty. Gaius was just better at hiding his disbelief behind manners. His 'sire' sounded respectful, which regular Merlin still couldn't manage, but it was no less skeptical.

"IT'S LIKE HE HAS NO WILL." Arthur shouts. This seems to click with Gaius because his eyes widen and his head jerks unconsciously in realization. Gaius jumps up quickly, jostling the shrubs around him.

"It is possible someone has removed his will using magic. If this is the case, he will be very suggestible and it is very dangerous indeed."

Arthur feels his chest freeze. This is what he wanted, a name for the problem and a way to start fixing it, but the worry that has overcome Gaius's features worries him as well. _Surely Merlin isn't in that much trouble?_

"You must go to him immediately. He cannot be left alone like this. I will gather the ingredients I need and meet you and Merlin in your chambers as soon as I can." Gaius states.

Arthur nods curtly and turns on his heel. His movements are quick and efficient as he heads back to his room. To Merlin. Perhaps he shouldn't have left Merlin alone. He begins to feel relieved as he sees his chamber door. He will open it to find Merlin fine soon. He opens the door and looks inside. The relief is gone in an instant and the anxiety has mounted to panic. Merlin isn't there.

"Merlin! Merlin come out if you're hiding. I demand it!"

Nothing happens. Arthur is forced to conclude Merlin either isn't there or the curse that forced him to do his bidding has been lifted.

"Merlin, I'll never make you wear that hat again if you come out now." Arthur calls to the seemingly empty room.

No response. Damn it. Merlin isn't there. Curse free Merlin would have responded to that. Where could he be? And why the hell didn't he stay put like Arthur instructed? He had been plenty specific.

Arthur didn't notice that his feet were carrying him on a systematic search of the castle until he'd already asked three servants to help him search and eliminated two castle wings. He'd been acting on auto-pilot, his mind busy blocking out his fear for Merlin's safety with angry rants about Merlin's idiocy. A breathless gasp stops Arthur in his tracks.  
A voice follows the gasp, "I can't believe he's actually doing it."

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." Answers a harsh, guttural voice, "Or in this case a horny servant." Arthur's barreling through the door interrupts their chuckles. "How dare" is already out of his mouth when he stops, chocked, on the word you. He has to blink to process the group of men in front of him all surrounding a shirtless, panting smaller man in the middle. He can't take his eyes off the shirtless man in the center and it takes him an eternity of a second to realize he's staring straight at Merlin.  
Merlin looks up, no expression on his flushed face. He merely seems to be awaiting an order. Arthur is overwhelmed. It takes him moments to sort through his feelings and the most glaring one is unquestionably _anger._ That these scoundrels would take advantage of a suggestible Merlin to coerce him into sex cannot be condoned. They should hang for this offense. He wants to destroy them. What they could have done to Merlin…in his current condition he wouldn't be able to defend himself at all. He wouldn't be able to say no to anything. And Arthur had only just made it in time to save him. These knights and yes, Arthur recognized all three of them now as members of his own guard were supposed to be men of honor. They needed to die.

Something of his feeling must show on his face, because all three of the knights look startled.

"Sire, we mean no offense." One of them starts.

The others nod at that.

"If he's yours we won't touch him, sire" another one adds.

Arthur's enraged. It's not whether Arthur wants him that matters. It's that Merlin couldn't consent. They were affectively RAPING him. And it is for this that they need to die.  
Decision made, Arthur draws his sword and looks at Merlin.

Merlin is standing there, dopey smile on his face. Not at all phased by the events around him. He doesn't seem distressed, or hurt. The knights had been assaulting an impaired Merlin, but, and the conclusion is obvious from the terror and confusion on the knights' faces, they didn't realize it. How could they? Who stops and examines a willing partner for signs of a curse?

Arthur takes a deep breath and sheaths his sword.

What to do? It is not just to kill them for a crime they did not know they were committing. It is also critical that he resolves this situation as quietly as possible and that he keeps the knowledge that Merlin is suffering from a curse secret. That information could be used against Merlin easily and the more people who know the more dangerous it is for him.

"You will speak of this to no one. You do not have the right to corner and coerce servants of my household into performing sexual favors for you. If I find out this has happened again with any of my household staff, you will be punished." The threatening undertone of anger in his voice along with the imperious tone is perfect delivery.

"But we didn't coerce him, he came…" The knight speaking stutters and drifts off at the elbow to the ribs given by his companion. Arthur's glare had intensified as he spoke.  
Perfect. Arthur thinks. I can let it go like this. They will still think Merlin came willingly, but my behavior can be explained by adamantly believing they forced him. They will stay away from Merlin now, and think twice about sleeping with any of my staff. Now I just have to get out of this room before I kill them.

"Merlin, come with me." Arthur orders as he turns on his heel and exits. Merlin follows him obediently. Arthur only manages three steps past the closed door before he's turned to Merlin, concerned and desperate to know he's alright.

"Merlin, how are you?"

Merlin pauses for a moment, thinking. "Am I fine?" he questions. He looks at Arthur intently, waiting for him to give him the answer. Arthur groans in frustration. Of course Merlin is looking to Arthur to suggest how Merlin feels. He's BLOODY CURSED! Arthur turns again and starts walking briskly back to his room. "Continue following me, Merlin." Arthur reminds his friend, at the absence of footfalls on the stone behind him.

When they reach the safety of Arthur's room once more, Arthur is at a loss as to why Merlin ever left in the first place. He had instructed Merlin to stay here. He had been very specific that he wasn't to go unless Arthur ordered it or some kind of calamity happened.

"Merlin, why did you leave this room?" He was safe here. Arthur had thought he would be fine, now he didn't think he could live with the guilt of what his negligence had almost allowed to happen to Merlin.

"I was to leave the room if there was a fire. There was a fire." Merlin deadpans. Arthur looks at the empty fireplace confused, it is clear nothing has been lit there recently. There were no warning bells. His eye catches the window. He looks down at the grass and then up at the remains of the pyre in the courtyard below. There was a fire. That fire. And now another magic user has been brought to justice.

Arthur's anger has shifted. It's still there, strong and insistent, undoubtedly going to burst forth at a later time; but it's been temporarily locked away. He needs to focus on helping Merlin now; and the solemn mood that overcame him looking out at the witches' pyre he only just realizes was already there. He's been somber from the moment he walked in the room. The anger, while real, had been a distraction from the loss and fear he felt while looking at his friend. Even now, the way Merlin couldn't even tell him about the fire. Merlin couldn't explain; he couldn't express. Merlin eyes now are so vacant and his movements robotic. It's heart breaking and Arthur can't stand it. He can't stand not having his Merlin now and he can't even contemplate what it would be like to never get him back.

It's not going to happen. He will fix this.

He looks over at Merlin standing upright and stiff looking nothing like himself.

"Relax, Merlin." Arthur orders with a long suffering sigh. "Be yourself, do what you want to do."

Merlin looks adorably confused for a moment. He doesn't seem to understand. "Relax? What do I want to do?"

"You want to sit down and look normal." Arthur responds immediately, gesturing towards the chair and sighing exasperatedly. He could throw in that Merlin wanted to shine his shoes or polish his sword, but it just feels wrong on top of nearly getting Merlin hurt just moments ago. He wants to be nice to Merlin. What would Merlin like to do? Merlin wasn't very vocal about his desires. Arthur didn't know if Merlin liked reading, or playing chess. Arthur always liked to take a nice warm bath when he wanted to relax. Did Merlin like baths? He probably never had a proper one. Arthur could tell him to take one. He glances up at Merlin sitting in the chair and smiling rather dopily. He does seem to have relaxed. His long legs are up and crossed on the mahogany table in front of him, something no one but Arthur has ever had the nerve to do in the prince's chambers, and his head is tilted back, neck and Adam's apple exposed. There’s a thin gold chain wrapping around his neck that Arthur hasn't seen him wear before. He can see the light dusting of hair around his chin and the line of his lips, tilted into a contented smile. He's closed his eyes, but at Arthur's intent gaze he opens them to reveal twinkling blue eyes.

Arthur breath catches in his throat and his eyes widen. The bath is a bad idea. It's a horrible, terrible idea that while potentially might be relaxing for Merlin would be anything but for Arthur. No, it would be bad for both of them if Merlin took his clothes off right now. Arthur's already imagining him naked and this has GOT TO STOP. Where the hell is Gaius?

Arthur's started pacing without realizing it.

"Is there anything else I should do?" Merlin asks him.

"You should do what you want. Don't just listen to everyone else." Arthur responds. Maybe he can suggest Merlin go back to being himself. Could it be that easy?

"I want whatever you want from me." Merlin, no 'cursed Merlin' Arthur thinks, responds. "I seek only to please you, sire."

Oh, that again, Arthur thinks disgruntled. This is more than his patience can take. He can feel himself getting hard and it's completely inappropriate. Merlin isn't himself. He doesn't mean what he's saying, but Arthur's finding it impossible to convince his body and heart of that. He didn't just jump with arousal at Merlin's words, he could feel his heart clench. He was excited at the possibility of Merlin returning his affection. 

Arthur had thought it was ridiculous at first, but he had long come to realize that he saw Merlin as someone he wanted to care for and be with in every way. He had found Merlin's obstinacy and foolish determination attractive from the start, but the more he grew to know him, the more he felt for Merlin as a friend and companion.  
Merlin was unquestionably brave, kind, compassionate, and loyal to him. Part of him believed the loyalty was more than just that of a subject's for his prince, and all of him hoped that it was in fact, loyalty to Arthur as a person. What had started out as an attraction had grown until Arthur found Merlin nearly irresistible. He was more defensive about it too, because he couldn't tell if Merlin felt the same, and he couldn't risk being wrong. Princes are not turned down, and Merlin would turn him down if he had misread his signals, Arthur had no doubt about that. 

Plus, he didn't know if he could handle losing Merlin's friendship if he was wrong and things became awkward. He was the prince, he should be able to handle anything, but when Merlin nearly died from drinking out of the poisoned chalice, he thought for sure he would die too if he couldn't save him. Going on a dangerous quest, fighting monsters and spiders, climbing up the inside of a mountain in the dark, all of it was nothing compared to the lost emptiness of a world without Merlin. The pain would be unbearable. He realized it then, and that's when he first admitted to himself how much he cared for Merlin.

That didn't mean he could take advantage of a cursed Merlin to stare salaciously at him.

Arthur had, inevitably, started staring at Merlin again as he thought. Merlin was still sitting there, staring at him expectantly. Arthur hadn't answered the question. "What did you ask?"

"How can I please you? What would you have me do?" Merlin repeats. He couldn't possibly realize how this affects Arthur. He has no idea of Arthur's feelings, of that Arthur's reasonably sure. But real Merlin would never ask him this.

"You must want something. Are you tired? You could go to bed. Or if you're hungry we can eat. I want you to do what YOU WANT." Arthur says exasperatedly, once again trying to get Merlin to act with his own will.

"Are you tired?" Merlin asks, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, I'm exhausted." Arthur replies. He knows he's too wound up to sleep, but he isn't going to tell Merlin that and he does feel exhausted with this matter.

"Then I'm tired too. Let's go to bed." Merlin says confidently, with a smile and nod.

Arthur stares at him wide eyed, mouth open. He couldn't just do that. He couldn't... right? But Merlin asked to go there…he said it was what he wanted. 'Only because you suggested it to him when you implied he should be tired', Arthur's brain supplies unhelpfully. Arthur wants to get into bed with Merlin. He wants to sleep next to him, to lie against him. Would it be so bad?

Merlin has stood and is walking towards Arthur's bed. Arthur can feel himself nodding at Merlin encouragingly as he pauses by the bed.

Merlin smiles back at Arthur as he climbs into the prince’s bed. He looks so natural there, yet it's so unbelievable too to see Merlin where Arthur's so often imagined him. Arthur breathes in deeply.

Ah! He's as bad as those ex-knight scoundrels, trying to get Merlin in his bed when he has no ability to choose for himself, Arthur thinks horrified. It's wrong for him to take advantage of Merlin like this. He just wants to lie next to him, but at this rate, who knows if he'll stop if Merlin encourages him. This is wrong. Arthur needs to leave, but he can't leave Merlin alone. Arthur remembers too well what happened with the knights when he left Merlin alone before. Ex-knights, he thinks to himself satisfyingly, because that's what they'll be come tomorrow when he removes them from his guard. Ah! But he can't stay and he can't go! He's pacing again. Merlin is looking at him with an expression of concern and puzzlement.

"Won't you come to bed?" Merlin asks sweetly. Arthur feels his heart and dick twitch. He can't take his eyes off Merlin. This is dangerous. It's dangerous for Merlin. And Arthur hates himself for walking towards Merlin and pulling him into a hug. Arthur breathes in his scent and it's intoxicating. He's leaning over the bed, waist flush against it, holding Merlin tightly. Merlin breathes. He doesn't say anything. Arthur can't bring himself to let go, and he thinks that this is fine. It's not everything he wants, but it's also not taking advantage of Merlin in his vulnerable state. There is nothing wrong with a hug and this will keep Arthur's sanity intact. He's satisfied the need to touch Merlin and the need to keep him safe.  
Arthur's breathing again, and the rapid intake of breath has slowed to a deep, satisfying pace. He could stand here holding Merlin forever.  
Arthur doesn't want to lean back, because that would be putting himself in the dangerous zone of kissable territory. Kissing Merlin now would be wrong. But if Merlin kissed him…it wouldn't be forcing, right? He could lean back and tell Merlin to do what he wants to do. Maybe Merlin wants to kiss him too. NO. It wouldn't be right. Arthur wouldn't know if he had inadvertently initiated it. He has probably suggested Merlin kiss him with his body language all night. That might be why Merlin is letting Arthur hold him now.


	2. Spring Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur thought it was difficult to resist obedient Merlin before. Now that Merlin seems to have developed a fondness for his bed, Arthur really knows what hard is.

Arthur had forgotten he was waiting on Gaius until he walks through the door.

"Uh!" Gaius exclaims surprised, stumbling some at the doorway. Arthur feels Merlin's chin lift off his shoulder to look in the direction of the doorway. Arthur savors his connection to Merlin for a moment before turning towards Gaius. _How intimate we must look,_ Arthur thinks.

"Have you found a cure?" Arthur asks.

"I," Gaius stumbles, but recovers quickly, "I have found what I think is wrong."

Arthur has turned from the embrace, but Merlin's hands begin to slide along his back, kneading at knots and twisting in his shirt.

"How could he lose his will?" Arthur questions Gaius to distract himself from Merlin's hands. Gaius says nothing and Arthur wonders at his lack of response. The answer seems clear. He's never heard of any natural means to interfere with something as integral to a person as their will. "It has to be sorcery, doesn't it?"

"It appears to be sorcery. But I do not want to act too hastily." Gaius replies. "What's to be hasty about? A sorcerer did this to him and that sorcerer needs to die. We will find him and execute him." Arthur answers unperturbed and determined.

"What if it was an accident?" Gaius' tone is quietly pleading as if a sorcerer acting on accident is not only a possibility, but one they needed to be concerned with. Arthur pauses. He never thought a sorcerer could act unintentionally.

"What do you mean? How could a sorcerer curse someone and not be aware of it?" Arthur questions.

"I have heard of some sorcerers who act without realizing it. Who were born with magic and have no choice over the ability." Gaius seems to be choosing his words carefully, but  
he also seems unquestionably sincere. "We might want to consider the castor's motives before we condemn them to death."

Arthur is shocked. He had never heard of such a thing. Born with magic? That went against everything he knew. And why was Gaius so intent on potentially defending this magic user? Was Gaius befriending sorcerers? Best to start at the beginning, Arthur decided, and to be tactful about finding answers to the more insidious implications of Gaius' words. 

"What do you mean born with magic?"

"I mean some people are born with magic. They do not learn it or try to do it. They can be innocent people with good intentions who suddenly find impossible things happening around them, and then they come to realize they have abilities others don't." Gaius responded carefully.

"How is it possible that someone could not know they have magic? You're saying someone could have magic without studying sorcery?"

"Yes. I'm saying some powerful people have magic without courting it. They use it without consciously commanding it. They possess it, without having the opportunity to choose not to."

"And it corrupts them," Arthur thinks he understands now. He knew a powerful person who could not have had an opportunity to study magic yet became possessed by it. "As it did with Morgana."

Gaius shudders, looking upset and repulsed for a moment, as if this wasn't the connection he wanted Arthur to make. But what else could he have been referring to? "How is this relevant?" Arthur asks.

"I found a book on will charms. They can only be done by a powerful sorcerer with great feeling towards the person whose will is removed. They have to be targeted towards a specific person, yet they could potentially be done unintentionally. In addition, the sorcerer must be in range of the person when the effect takes place, because it is too difficult of a spell to be performed from a distance. The sorcerer must stay in proximity to the ensorcelled as well to continue the spell, otherwise it should wear off in a matter of hours."

This last part is great news to Arthur. Surely he can keep Merlin out of the presence of the sorcerer who cursed him, and the spell will wear off in a matter of hours. How long has already passed? When did he first notice Merlin acting oddly? It was at the feast, so the potential sorcerers are narrowed down to those who were in the castle at the time of the feast since the sorcerer would have had to be near Merlin. "How close to Merlin did the Sorcerer need to be to cast the spell?"

Gaius seems reluctant and slow in his answer, "Inches. It would take an extraordinarily strong sorcerer to manage the spell from even feet away."

Arthur is a little shocked at the close proximity required, but is encouraged because he knows he can keep people at least a few feet from Merlin for the rest of the night. "Is that also the distance required to maintain the spell?"

"Yes. And the sorcerer would have to renew the spell every two hours at the most." Gaius responds.

"Then we've finally got it! We just need to wait for the spell to wear off, then we can ask Merlin who was within inches of him throughout the feast and narrow out the sorcerer."  
Arthur exclaims happily.

Arthur searches Gaius' face for enthusiasm but finds none. There's something he's missing. Why isn't Gaius happy about this plan? "Do you not agree with the plan?"

Gaius rushes to transform his face into one of support, "No, of course sire, it's an excellent plan." But Arthur sees the undertones of worry in his brow and knows the pause and effort it took Gaius to summon enthusiasm was his true reaction. Arthur is missing something that Gaius knows. Gaius isn't one to tell his secrets though, and Arthur suspects this might be a rather large one if somehow Gaius is trying to protect a sorcerer. But this sorcerer harmed Merlin, how could Gaius be alright with that? Now Arthur was angry. "What don't you think is good about this plan?" Arthur demanded roughly.

Gaius pauses for a moment, then looks up with absolute sincerity and says, "I am concerned what it would mean if the spell didn't wear off."

Arthur is dumbfounded. Does Gaius think he's misinformed about the proximity required to maintain the spell? Is it possible that the sorcerer could continue this from a larger  
distance away? Arthur voices his thoughts aloud.

"No, I am certain the sorcerer would need to be close. I also worry about the motivations of the sorcerer. Why curse Merlin? Is it an attempt to get Merlin to assassinate the king? Or you?"

Arthur sees the reason behind that fear. That's probably exactly why Merlin was ensorcelled. What other trait singled out Merlin aside from his proximity to Arthur and the King. It was Arthur's fault that Merlin was hurt. Whoever did this to Merlin was just trying to get at him. Arthur feels the pain in his chest grow accompanied by an even stronger feeling of guilt. So Gaius is worried about him and Merlin. He's worried a sorcerer might be trying to use Merlin to get to him. He'll need to be careful. "Is that all?" Arthur asks Gaius.

"Yes." Gaius responds simply.

"Then I will keep Merlin here and make sure no one else comes within feet of him until he has recovered. I will be careful, and if for some reason Merlin tries to harm me, I will of course not hold it against him."

Gaius nods. He seems somewhat relieved by Arthur's declaration, but he is still clearly agitated. "I will read on this more. I brought Merlin some Rowan which should lessen the power of the curse. If he'll chew on it, it might help."

Gaius moves to Merlin who's still behind Arthur, running his hands soothingly up and down Arthur's back, shoulders, and arms. Arthur had stopped noticing it, but now at once he is self-conscious of it again. What must Gaius be thinking?

"Will you chew on this, Merlin?" Gaius questions Merlin as he reaches out the rowan leaves.

Merlin nods his head obediently and opens his mouth. Arthur turns to watch and Merlin's hands fall from Arthur's shoulders down to Merlin's sides where they hang limply. Gaius pours the leaves in Merlin's mouth then mimes chewing exaggeratedly with big jaw motions and Merlin begins chewing excessively just like Gaius is showing. It's all rather comical and makes Merlin seem like a small child waiting for direction. Arthur forgets the gravity of the situation for a moment.

"You want to keep the King and Arthur safe." Gaius says, and the realization that someone had likely taken Merlin's will in order to make him an assassin hits Arthur again like a horse's hoof to the head. How brilliant Gaius is to realize this and try and counter it.

"You want to keep yourself safe too, and the way you do that is get your will back Merlin. _You need to get your will back._ " Gaius continues.

It seems to Arthur like an odd thing to stress. Does Gaius think Merlin somehow has control over whether or not he gets his will back?

"You can swallow the leaves now." Gaius instructs Merlin and mimes swallowing.

Merlin swallows in one large gulp.

Gaius looks at him again, concern etched in his weathered brow, fear and love both mapped out in the lines the expression he wears have created on his face. He's looking at Merlin intently and it's clear he cares for him deeply. It's also clear he's afraid of something. "Take care of yourself," he says. Gaius leans in and hugs Merlin, then turns to Arthur. "I need to do more research. Am I free to go?"

"Of course." Arthur answers, shocked and humbled by the interaction between Gaius and Merlin.

As Gaius leaves, blue cloak bellowing behind him, Arthur tries to put everything he just learned together. He's long since learned the value of reading what's behind the words that people voice, and he knows he's missed something important. Gaius was filled with unspoken thoughts and fears and Arthur would need to know them if he was to keep Merlin and his father safe, because Gaius had pointed out all to clearly that the curse was likely an indirect attack on the king. But who could have done it? Should he be primarily focused on finding the sorcerer who might be planning a second attack? Should he warn his father? Why didn't Gaius suggest that?

'Ah!' Arthur exclaims in frustration. _There's something important here, and I'm just not clever enough to get it,_ he thinks. _There are too many thoughts and possibilities in my head and not a clear course of action._

Merlin is drawn to Arthur at the sound and he questions him worriedly if he's alright.

"No, MERlin. I'm not alright, would you kindly stop asking." Arthur replies shortly. Arthur wants to voice his thoughts aloud. Maybe Merlin could help? He'd been helpful in the past, of course that was when his mind wasn't under the influence of a curse, but then it'd been a little over an hour since the feast and the Rowan leaves he ate might have helped clear his mind.

"Actually, Merlin, I'm trying to figure out what just happened here. Did you observe anything interesting about Gaius just now?"

"I'm not sure. Did I?" Merlin questions back, tilting his head to the side with an adorable expression of confusion on his face.

"I want you to answer honestly how you think. What do you think were the motives behind Gaius's words? Did he seem emotional to you?"

"Huh…yes?" Merlin questions and looks to Arthur to see if that was the answer he wanted.

"Alright. Please elaborate." Arthur stated patiently.

"He seemed anxious, sad, and a little frustrated with me."

"Really? That's what you thought?" Arthur answered surprised. The anxious part seemed obvious to him, but he missed the other two entirely, if that was in fact how Gaius was feeling.

Merlin looked confused again at the question, as if he wasn't sure whether Arthur wanted him to agree or not.

"Alright, Merlin, when did he seem frustrated with you?" Arthur questioned to get him back on track.

"When he said I need to get my will back" Merlin answered immediately. "And he seemed unhappy when you said you'd stay and watch me."

Arthur doesn't know what to make of that. Merlin could be entirely wrong, but then curse-free Merlin was unusually perceptive. Maybe he should consider his observations.  
All Arthur's thoughts when flying out the window when he turned to see Merlin stretching out in his bed. Merlin's arms were lifted above his head, his tunic rising up revealing the pale flesh and lightly defined abs beneath, and his toes were curled into the bed. His back was arched up, cheeks flushed, and it sent an immediate image of Merlin in the throes of passion into his mind. Arthur had tensed and moved towards him before he processed what he was doing. He was just about to reach out to Merlin, when he caught himself. This was going nowhere good. Arthur cursed all the fantasies he'd ever let play out in his head of Merlin in his bed because they made this moment seem almost normal. Almost like something natural that he should act on. It made resisting this temptation worse.

Merlin looked up at him through his lashes, innocent childlike smile playing on his lips. "Would you like to join me?" He questioned.

Arthur nodded and climbed into bed beside Merlin. He wanted to be there so desperately. He couldn't take his eyes off Merlin. Didn't have the will to distance himself when Merlin was inviting him to be near him. Arthur waits next to Merlin, lying on his side mere inches from Merlin. Merlin rolls onto his side as well and stares at Arthur, still smiling openly.  
Arthur inhales deeply, and thinks he better start talking fast to distract his body from action. "So what's your favorite memory?" He asks Merlin, wanting to know everything about the man in front of him.

"That's easy. It was baking bread with my mother. It was a sunny afternoon in Ealdor, and the heat of the bread oven was overwhelming, so we splashed water on our faces and I soaked my shirt straight through and Mum laughed with me all afternoon. I must have been about ten. Will came over to join us that day and we splashed him with water too."

Arthur's amazed. The sincerity and happiness is dripping from Merlin as he tells what seems like a ridiculous story on the surface, but watching him tell it makes Arthur long to have been there. He wants to laugh and play with Merlin and his Mom. Wishes he could have been there with them at ten, to have played with Merlin and to know a Mother who was so loving and kind. The feeling is overwhelming and he's speechless for a moment.

Merlin seems thoughtful; he's tilted his head and is humming with a deep expression of concentration on his face. Finally he looks up at Arthur and says,"I liked riding out to face the dragon with you too. I've never felt as strong and brave as I did in that moment."

Arthur's speechless again. He remembers that moment. He remembers his shock and deep respect for Merlin when he realized Merlin was serious about riding out with him. He would never have asked that of a servant. The courage Merlin had shown that night was incredible, and Arthur would never forget it.

That Merlin was willing to ride out with him, likely to his death made Arthur feel less alone. He would have faced the dragon for Camelot despite his fear, but when Merlin volunteered to go with him, he felt a strong sense of belonging and companionship. He was able to joke about going out, and with Merlin riding beside him he was at peace with his impending death. Maybe Arthur had started loving Merlin even then.

Merlin has clearly stopped thinking and is staring at Arthur expectantly. Arthur finds himself again and asks, "What makes you happiest?"

Merlin's answer is immediate and short, "Seeing the people I love happy."

Arthur is amazed again at the goodness of the answer. He knew his manservant was remarkably generous, willing to die for him and for others, but he didn't realize how completely focused on others Merlin was. Merlin was at his happiest not when he was doing something for himself, but when he was able to see his loved ones experiencing joy.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know?" Merlin questions him.

Arthur asks him everything he'd ever wanted to know about Merlin. He asks him about his life in Ealdor, his favorite color, what he thinks about Camelot, that's a surprising one, "I think Camelot's a remarkably beautiful city with a lot of good people, but it's backwards in several of its laws." Arthur is shocked at this and he wants to know what Merlin means. What does he think is backwards? But the shock and dislike of Merlin's answer must have shown on Arthur's face because he immediately backtracks and says the opposite, clearly still suggestible and trying to please Arthur.

Arthur can't get an honest answer out of him about that topic, so he moves on to favorite sport. Turns out Merlin doesn't much like sports. The neighborhood kids use to exclude him from their games, then after he started playing, sometimes he was so good they'd insisted he cheated and they hated him even more. He said he'd though games were rather stupid anyway. That conversation ended abruptly too though, because once again it was clear Arthur disagreed and Merlin rushed to say what would make Arthur happy.

_I've got to get better at controlling my reactions,_ Arthur thought. He asked about Merlin's favorite food, lamb stew, then he took a chance and asked who Merlin's favorite knight was.

"Oh, I like Gwaine a lot,"Merlin replied enthusiastically, "but Lancelot is really my…I mean no, I don't like knights. I…what do you want me to say?" He finishes, because Arthur didn't have a hope of concealing his true reaction to Merlin picking other knights over him. Merlin observed Arthur's dislike of his answer quickly and altered it accordingly. Arthur had the true answer though. Merlin liked both Sir Gwaine and Sir Lancelot over him.

That was a blow to the chest.

Arthur breathes deeply again, and looks out to see the sun has long since gone down and he and Merlin are still lying on the bed staring at each other intently. Arthur changed his position to lie on his back at one point and Merlin mimicked him. Now Arthur moves back on his side to look at Merlin again. Merlin copies him again, and as he turns his necklace slips out of his tunic and hangs down into the covers. It's a rather striking necklace, and Arthur's never seen it before today. He's curious where Merlin got it. He wants a closer look at the design on the small pendant. "Can I see your necklace, Merlin?" He asks.

Merlin says "Of course", but makes no move to remove it, so Arthur reaches up and removes the necklace, touching the back of Merlin's neck as his arms reach around to pull up the necklace, moving ever so slowly, seeing the thin gold chain catch on Merlin's hair and lift it up as Arthur moves it past his ears and head. Merlin leans in to him as he's doing it. And Arthur can't help himself when he asks, "Have you ever wanted to kiss me?"

"Yes." Merlin breathes.

Arthur can't. He can't breathe, he can't think, he can only react. Before he's realized it, he's kissing Merlin.

It's everything he could have hoped for and more. It's intoxicating, and Merlin is returning the kiss just as enthusiastically as Arthur. But this isn't his Merlin. This is cursed suggestible Merlin, and Arthur curses himself for his hasty action. He thinks about how desperately he wishes the real Merlin were back, and he forces himself to stop and talk to Merlin again. Arthur pushes Merlin back with a hand on his chest and says the first thing that comes to his mind: "Now I just need you to put on that ridiculous hat, then I'd be able to look at you without jumping you."

"I'm not wearing that stupid hat!" Merlin exclaims in outrage. Half a second passes and Merlin adds with a victorious note in his voice, "So you admit the hat is ridiculous! And you were just forcing me to wear it so I'd look stupid."

Another beat passes and Merlin looks down at Arthur's hand on his chest and then up into his eyes and says, "Wait, you're kissing me." 

He looks slightly confused and disoriented as if he's only now coming into the moment. _Or into himself! ,_ Arthur realizes with a jolt. The curse has worn off! 

"You're kissing me." Merlin repeats with wonder as the confusion on his face morphs into a pleased confident smile.

Arthur is ecstatic. His beaming smile draws an identical one from Merlin's lips and before he knows it they're kissing again. Arthur has no qualms about this kiss because he knows Merlin is himself again. He throws everything into it, and he's on top of Merlin running his hands up Merlin's chest under his shirt when he thinks about how perfect it would be if they were naked. Merlin is rocking his hips up underneath him, drawing his nails into his back as he holds Arthur firmly to him. Merlin's hands have curved around and pushed into the nonexistent space between their bodies, tugging at the straps to Arthur's belt and failing to unhook them. Arthur wants the belt off. He wants his pants off. More importantly, he wants Merlin naked, and suddenly, he feels a breeze on his exposed back. He's shocked to realize he's naked. So is Merlin.

Arthur stops abruptly, confused and horrified as he realizes magic just happened. He can't think, he wants this so badly, but something else is jarring his attention. Something important. The belt, the clothes-he'd wanted them off, and they came off. Just like he'd wanted them to. Magic. At his will. He'd thought it. He'd done it. The words and connection were running through his mind non-stop unable to focus on anything else. Magic, him, magic, clothes, him. He'd done magic. That's the only way it added up. No one else was here.

Merlin's nails stroke down Arthur's back grazing him firmly. Arthur breaths deeply and rolls his body against Merlin's. Merlin answers with a full body shudder as his hips rock up into Arthur's. Arthur trails his teeth down Merlin's neck, reveling in the sensation. After a few more moments, he feels his release, and pulls back to see the cum on Merlin's stomach. He smiles a happy smile of satisfaction and leans down to tug Merlin into ecstasy with him. It doesn't take long. Merlin looks up at him open and happy, and Arthur can't think of a moment where he'd been more pleased. He lowers his head to Merlin's chest, buries his nose in Merlin's neck, and inhales the sweet, musky scent of him. Nearly a minute of contentment passes before Arthur remembers what had been bothering him before.

The magic. Arthur had done magic. There was no other way to describe it.

Suddenly everything comes together in a horrifying jolt. Gaius warning Arthur that some powerful people were sorcerers without knowing it, how they would just find things bending to their will. Like with the clothes, and with wanting Merlin to return to himself as he was first kissing him only to find Merlin back to himself immediately after. He realizes the first time Merlin lost his will was not at the feast, it was in Arthur's room hours before the feast with only Arthur there; and it had been hours since the feast, the whole time only Arthur was close enough to Merlin to maintain the curse. Gaius was worried and unhappy because he suspected it was Arthur who was the sorcerer and he knew Arthur could just keep maintaining the spell.

Arthur was sick to his stomach. He couldn't believe what he had done- it was absolutely unforgivable. He'd cursed Merlin into pleasing him. And it wasn't until Arthur fully wanted him to get his will back and was within inches of him that Merlin became himself again. Arthur did this. There was no other way to add this up. Arthur looked up at Merlin horrified with what he'd done. With who he'd become: A sorcerer who had bewitched the love of his life. There was nothing good about him. He stumbled back from Merlin and half fell half jumped off the bed. He needed to distance himself from Merlin so that he couldn't curse Merlin again. Gaius said it took proximity of mere inches. He needs to be far away from Merlin so that he can't hurt him anymore. Arthur's sliding into the furthest wall because he can't bear with the unbelievable agony of self-horror and fear he's feeling. How had he done this? When would he do it again? He couldn't talk, he just looked at Merlin wildly and gripped his head in agony as he sunk to his knees against the wall.

Merlin looked a mess as well. He'd moved across the bed towards Arthur but froze at Arthur's sound of distress and open outstretched hand, a clear signal to halt. Merlin was looking at Arthur frantically, clearly wanting desperately to help but having no idea what was wrong or what to do.

"Arthur, ARTHUR, listen to me. What's wrong? You can tell me." Merlin says in his most soothing voice.

Arthur's hunched against the wall, still holding his head and looking frantically at Merlin and himself.

"Arthur PLEASE! Please tell me what is wrong." Merlin begs Arthur. Merlin didn't just come out of the disjointed haze of having no will into Arthur's warm arms just to have him ripped violently from him, and that's what this felt like. Whatever was going on inside Arthur's head was violent. There was no other way to explain the actions Arthur was taking towards himself.

"You must forgive me. Please!" Arthur pleads brokenly. "I didn't mean to. I didn't know I was performing magic."

Merlin doesn't know what's going on. He can remember the day as something that he observed but was not present for, his body was there, but his mind had been on autopilot. The part of his personality that made him Merlin had been asleep all day. It was disorienting trying to come back into himself now with these vague recollections and memories he hadn't been present for: the feast, Gwaine asking him to dance, some knights trying to get him to sleep with them, _had that really happened?_ Then Arthur talking with him, and kissing him. _WOW Arthur KISSED him._ But then this. This Arthur in front of him so clearly disturbed it was heart-breaking. Merlin never wanted to see Arthur hurt and right now, Arthur seemed so torn. What was the problem again?

"Magic!" Arthur keens, sounding like a wounded animal. "I didn't know I was doing it! PLEASE." And Merlin realizes that somehow Arthur thinks he is a sorcerer. 

The thought of Arthur performing magic is ridiculous. Merlin knows it wasn't Arthur, but he finds himself comforting Arthur without even thinking, "It's fine. I forgive you, I'm sure it wasn't you, but even if it was that wouldn't change how I feel about you." Merlin has moved off the bed and come to crouch in front of Arthur. He leans in and puts his hands on Arthur's shoulders and he feels the mirroring grip of Arthur's hands on his own shoulders.

Arthur's eyes haven't left Merlin's and their pleading expression is undeniable. He doesn't seem to be understanding Merlin's words. He's holding onto Merlin's shoulders desperately, and Merlin has extended his arms to grip Arthur's shoulders reassuringly, kneading them comfortingly and trying to communicate in every possible way his acceptance and love.

"The way you feel about me?" Arthur questions quietly. Merlin finally seems to be getting through.

"Yes. You're my friend, Arthur. Accidentally performing magic isn't going to change that."

A broken sob cracks Arthur's throat. He isn't crying, but it looks as though he wants to. His grip hasn't lessened on Merlin's shoulders.

"You would do that, for me? You would accept me even if I was magic?"

"Of course!" Merlin cries, now suddenly as broken and desperate as Arthur. He doesn't know how the tables have turned so quickly but he now feels how defining this moment is. He is having the conversation he always wanted to have with Arthur, but their roles are reversed. This ultimately solves nothing; Arthur is no closer to knowing the truth, and seeing how torn he is over the possibility of being magic makes Merlin even more confident he can't spring his secret on him now.

It doesn't stop him from wanting to. From wanting to tell Arthur everything and assure him magic isn't evil. Magic can be beautiful, thrilling, healing. It is his life source, and he wants nothing more than to share it with Arthur. Right now, he wants to surround them in light. He wants to show Arthur how he feels. To reach out with every part of himself: his body, his voice, his magic.

He doesn't though. He can't. He can't risk the heartache. It isn't just that he needs Arthur to be safe, it's that he needs Arthur to care for him. Merlin _needs_ Arthur to trust and love him like Merlin loves Arthur. He needs Arthur's devotion like he needs water or air. To have Arthur turn bitter or hateful toward him feels like it would literally destroy him.  
In this moment it has become unquestionably clear to Merlin what Arthur means to him. He's his world. He cares about his safety, health and regard more than that of anyone else's.

As he cradles Arthur in his arms and runs his fingers through the blonde hair tucked beneath his chin he realizes love doesn't seem like a strong enough word for what he feels for Arthur.

"We'll fix this Arthur. We will figure out what happened and set this right." Merlin assures. He has no idea if he can fix this. He does not know how he can ever make this right. His feelings, his abilities, the lies, and Arthur's prejudice: It seems unconquerable. What he can do is find out who cursed him and stop him. He can keep Arthur safe physically and he will get Arthur to trust himself again even if he has to defame magic to do so. He will do anything to find these answers and keep Arthur safe.


	3. The Accidental Sorcerer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin and Arthur settle in the aftermath of the curse wearing off and their confessed feelings. _Well, their naked humping,_ Arthur thinks. _They didn't actually talk about their feelings._ Arthur should probably fix that, but he's going to make some rash, life-threatening decisions first. That's how he rolls.

"I can't believe it." Arthur stumbles over his words, drawing breath into his lungs in large unsteady gulps, "I can't believe I did those things."

Merlin is still confused as to how and _why_ Arthur believes himself to be a sorcerer. Maybe if he can get Arthur to explain his reasoning Merlin can point out the flaw in it. "I don't believe you did." Merlin answers.

"Nothing else adds up. You were cursed before the feast, in my room when only you and I were around; the curse was maintained for hours when I was the only one near enough to you to renew it. Our clothes came off by MAGIC. I did these things. And you came back to yourself when I wanted you to desperately."

When Arthur puts it like that, it does seem like a pretty solid argument. Merlin knows it was him who magicked their clothes off earlier, but he's pretty sure he didn't curse himself, so he doesn't know what to make of the rest. One thing stands out to him though.

"I wasn't cursed in your chamber." Merlin states. "I was already cursed when I walked through your door."

This draws Arthur's attention immediately. "What do you mean? Do you know who cursed you?" he questions.

"No. My memory is blotchy for about an hour before I went to your chambers. I can see myself doing some of my chores, but there is definitely time unaccounted for." Merlin answers.

Arthur nods his head thoughtfully, and Merlin can feel it rubbing against his chest. He smiles at the ticklish sensation it causes in him.

"If you were already cursed, then how was the curse maintained, how was it broken, and how did our clothes come off?" Arthur asks.

"Maybe Gaius was wrong about how long it could last. Perhaps it was stronger than he thought and wore off naturally. It makes a lot more sense then you accidentally cursing me without your knowledge."

"Really?" Arthur questions, hopefully.

"Really. What you just described about accidentally doing all these things is absurd. Even naturally powerful wizards can feel when they do magic. If you had cursed someone, you'd know." Merlin answers.

Arthur clings to the hope. Maybe Merlin's right. Maybe it's ridiculous to think he somehow caused this. He doesn't pause to consider how Merlin knows this. He just takes Merlin at his word and can feel himself calming.

He feels as if he can breathe again. It's a big difference from even moments before when he was caught in the unbearable emotion of thinking he was a sorcerer and had harmed Merlin. The relief Arthur feels now is tremendous, and he finds he can focus on the world around him again. His situation comes crashing into his present mind all at once and his senses are overloaded. Here he is, crouched on the floor, upper body buried in Merlin's chest, Merlin leaning over him and rubbing his back, Arthur still heaving occasional dry sobs. Up until this moment, he hadn't spent a moment wondering about their proximity, or where they stood. Now it hit him all at once. Did Merlin care for him? Was it more than just platonic? And what must Merlin have thought of everything that happened between them last night? Had he rushed Merlin? Merlin, who had just come out of having lost his will and was likely confused and disoriented. Arthur hadn't given him time to process, he'd just kissed him, and felt him, and OH GOD, he'd come all over Merlin's stomach! Could he be more obtuse or inconsiderate? _What must Merlin think of me?_

Arthur lifts his head slowly and bashfully looks up at Merlin. Merlin has a determined look on his face, as if he'd just decided something he was going to carry out if it killed him. Merlin had been looking up, but he shifted his gaze downward as Arthur stared at him. Concern is painted on his face, yet he lifts his lips into a smile as he gazes at Arthur. Arthur is amazed by the tenderness on his face. He felt at once deeply embarrassed about their position and not embarrassed at all. Merlin was so natural and calm, it seemed perfectly normal, and Arthur drew on his stability. Yet, Arthur still felt jumpy and uncertain himself. He didn't want to think about what would happen after they broke apart and lost this easy companionship.

"How are you doing?" Merlin questions him softly, lightly threading the fingers of his right hand through Arthur's hair.

Arthur takes a deep breath, not knowing what to answer.

He feels content to be in Merlin's lap; as if a tremendous burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Or several burdens, really. He isn't alone anymore. Merlin has accepted him in the way he had only dreamed of before. And he might not be responsible for the curse that had plagued Merlin. This moment was one of his the best moments of his life. It was an ironic realization when he noted he was curled on the floor with tears streaking his face. Huh. He had been trying so hard not to cry. Not sure when that happened.

Merlin is looking at him intently. Concern has grown in his demeanor during Arthur's lengthy pause. He is gripping Arthur tighter and leaning forward more.

"I'm great, Merlin." Arthur responded.

Merlin smiled, relived. His smile is so beautiful. Arthur feels the urge to lean up and kiss him again.

He starts to when there's a loud bustling noise of someone moving outside his door. Arthur springs back into awareness, and shakes his head. There are duties to be done, responsibilities to see to, and a sorcerer assassin to be caught. This was not the time to be unfocused.

Merlin senses the change and sits back. Arthur crawls off of him, surprisingly graceful in the motion, or not that surprising really considering everything Arthur does is graceful. Arthur stands, then extends his hand and helps Merlin to his feet.

"First, we have to figure out who cursed you. The sorcerer may or may not think you would be able to remember once the curse wore off, so the best defense we can give you is to behave like you are still cursed. I will behave like normal, and you will pretend you must do whatever anyone suggests, within reason. All the while, remember everything you can from yesterday before you were cursed, and pull me aside if you remember anything important." Arthur pauses in the order then asks, "Do you agree?"

Merlin is shocked that he's asking for his consent. Does Arthur doubt himself? Or maybe he thinks Merlin could have something of value to add to the plan. Was he beginning to appreciate Merlin's intelligence?

Merlin has yet to answer, which probably reinforces the idea that he's an idiot, but he has to consider the question before he responds, and he needs to get the rest of his questions and worries about how Arthur perceives him out of his head first. Is it a good idea for him to pretend like he's still cursed? A sorcerer powerful and skilled enough to cast the curse would probably have a good idea of when it would wear off, it could be rather transparent that he was faking, but then Merlin was a powerful sorcerer and he often didn't know whether or not one of his spells was working. He tended to go by the trial and error method, and it's probably just as possible that this sorcerer who cursed him didn't know how to tell whether or not he was still cursed. And if the sorcerer thought Merlin was still cursed, he would be less likely to try and kill Merlin, because Merlin couldn't be a threat to revealing the sorcerer's identity if he was cursed. So, nothing's lost from pretending to still be suggestible, and it might actually help. Trying to remember anything important is an obviously good plan. Merlin agrees.

"I agree, Arthur." He states.

"Good." Arthur states. Arthur's brow hunched a bit as he watched Merlin, but it doesn't seem like any insult to Merlin's intelligence is to follow. A servant waiting so long to answer an order would be a sign of stupidity. It is a servant's job to follow the wise words of royalty without question. Arthur had watched him with patience and pride, awaiting his response - the way a king would treat a trusted adviser.

Merlin's only just realized he was naked and sticky, so he moves to clean himself off and find his clothes. It's remarkable how unembarrassed he feels. Arthur chose him, for whatever reason, and Merlin isn't going to feel insecure or questioning about it. He'd wanted Arthur for almost the entire time he'd been in Camelot. He'd risked his life for Arthur countless times. This between them felt natural, and he felt comfortable in his own skin. He isn't going to waste time worrying if his body is too thin or knobbly when it had elicited the kind of reactions it did from Arthur last night. Merlin could feel himself smirking, and when he looks up to find Arthur staring at him his smirk erupts into a full blown grin.

Arthur feels stunned. He has to shake his head to clear it. There is a naked Merlin in his room smirking at him. He shakes his head again. It doesn't help. No amount of head shaking is going to help him think normally at this point. Thoughts aren't happening.

Merlin pauses and stares at Arthur salaciously before bending down and pulling on his pants. He'd retrieved them from the floor by the bed where they'd been magically sent. Merlin throws Arthur a pair of pants too, and after a moment Arthur has the presence of mind to put them on.

"Alright, so I'm pretending I'm still cursed." Merlin says, as he finishes pulling down his tunic and begins walking towards the door.

Arthur reaches it first and holds it open for Merlin. "Yes, go about the day as you normally would. Fetch breakfast, then come back here and accompany me to training." Arthur instructs.

Merlin nods and leaves through the door. Arthur turns and starts to busy himself with getting clean and dressed. He can't focus though, and soon realizes he has to address something else first. The image of Merlin smirking and bending down to pull up his pants will do nicely.

Merlin returns to Arthur with the breakfast barely twenty minutes later. Arthur's fully dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed, face flushed. _Who knows what Arthur had been doing? He probably went through several morning training drills already in his room._ Merlin thinks.

Arthur eats with Merlin and then they both head out to training, Merlin walking beside Arthur all the way till the door to the outside grounds which force Merlin to let Arthur go through first.

As they approach the training grounds, Merlin sees Arthur's face tighten. He's looking intently at a group of three knights. Merlin wonders what their names are, but he's answered almost immediately as Arthur growls them out , "Garith, Bolveder, and Lushan come here."

As they turn and walk toward Arthur, Merlin recognizes all three from a vague memory. For some reason he's scared. Then he realizes these are the three knights from yesterday who tried to force him to have sex with them.

Arthur's voice is strong and resolute when he announces to all the knights in the training field, "You three are dismissed from my guard."

All three knights and everyone in the vicinity seem shocked. This is highly unusual and reserved only for great crimes of honor or loyalty. Everyone is wondering what brought this on. Bolveder and Lushan get past their shock and bow to Arthur. Their expressions have morphed to be ashamed and contrite. "Yes, my lord" they utter.

Garith, however, has yet to move. When he does speak, his voice is cold and challenging, "I don't think it a wise move, young prince, to dismiss your father's knights. On what grounds do you call for my discharge from your guard?" His tone is laced with contempt and his mouth is curled up into a hideous smirk. It brings back a sudden flash of memory to Merlin. Yesterday, he saw this same look on the man's face when he passed Merlin coming out of Arthur's chambers. He had this predatory look in his eyes even before he asked Merlin to follow him and his two companions.

Merlin is shivering with disgust and he tries to push the memory out of his mind as quickly as possible.

Arthur had looked over at Merlin, had seen him shake and look down, and knew he would like nothing more than to destroy the contemptuous knight in front of him. He recognized the challenge to his authority, and Garith was indeed a well-respected and wealthy lord, but what Garith failed to realize was how deeply his actions had offended Arthur. Arthur would defend Merlin's well-being with his life, and this moral-less scoundrel threatened that. It was a struggle to keep his tone sounding effortlessly calm and self-assured, but Arthur managed it flawlessly, "Knights must uphold the highest honor and you failed that responsibility. My decision to revoke your knightship is final."

"You may live to regret it." Garith responds with such bitter hatred and resentment beneath the words that they seem to be saying something else entirely than their usual meaning. Rather than mean, 'perhaps this is a choice you will later regret', it sounded like, you MAY live to regret it, but you likely won't live that long.

Nearly everyone caught the undertone because the silence that followed his reply was tense and shocked. Sir Gwaine takes a step forward as if to defend Arthur and Sir Leon does the same.

"You may go." Arthur answered in a steady voice. His implication was clear as well: Leave now without incident or you may lose your chance.

Garith turns and leaves with a snarl. 

This caught Merlin's attention, because in the years of acting as Arthur's undercover bodyguard he had learned to watch the people who seemed hell-bent on harming Arthur. Garith's body language and tone screamed THREAT TO ARTHUR.

Merlin senses allowing Garith to leave their sight is not a good plan. He tries to motion to Arthur to stop Garith, but Arthur ignores him. 

Merlin snorts. Arthur isn't listening to Merlin's instinct when it comes to protecting his safety. Instead, he is letting the revenge-seeking, highly resourced knight wander off to gather reinforcements and pull together some kind of vengeance plot against the future king. 

Arthur is acting in a way highly detrimental to his safety, Merlin really shouldn't be surprised.


	4. A Trusted Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is so distracted as he contemplates what to do about Garith, that he misses something deathly important. Arthur struggles with how to treat Merlin. He has never been in a relationship before and the jealousy and insecurity is a lot for him to handle. Why would Merlin stay with someone as demanding and stiff as him?

Merlin wonders if he should follow Sir Garith and stop him now. A good many of his problems defending Arthur could probably be eliminated by taking preemptive action. _I mean,_ Merlin thought, _here there was a man set on harming Arthur, why give him time to go develop what might be a half decent plan on how to kill Arthur?_

Merlin had spent a lot of his last few years in Arthur's service running around _reacting_ to life and death situations, and being clueless about them the rest of the time. He just recently started realizing he could develop and implement systems that would make him more efficient and possibly eliminate some of the threats before they became problems.

His first idea of the kind came from his talks with Gilly. 

Gilly was a good person at heart, he just didn't realize using magic for his own personal gain was wrong; nor did he understand why it was important to wait to introduce magic into Camelot until after Uther's reign had finished. He didn't understand that by accelerating Uther's demise with magic he would be forever turning Arthur's heart and mind against magic. Merlin understood it, and he was able to help Gilly see the wisdom of self-control when it came to his magic. 

Merlin had guided Gilly to this realization by talking with him as an equal. As a person who understood him in the way that only a fellow sorcerer and a man who had been bullied and looked down on for his station by people with less ability could. Merlin had made Gilly less of a threat without harming him, and he knew he owed it to himself and to the other sorcerers out there to reach out to as many of them as possible.

Merlin also knew it was dangerous and foolish to have shown Gilly his ability. He could not risk that again, but he needed to be able to empathize with the hidden sorcerers of Camelot, so Merlin had taken to going out as Dragoon the Great and speaking with those whom he noticed before they were discovered or turned vengeful against the King.  
It was amazing how many plots he uncovered and talked people out of just by going to them as an equal and listening and guiding them towards patience. 

Over the past three months he had spoken to thirty-six sorcerers as Dragoon the Great and stopped seven of them from following through with assassination attempts against the King.

Merlin was quite proud of himself.

Somehow, he didn't think this would be a good tactic with Garith though. Merlin wouldn't try to talk with Garith, he would just stop him.

It was a sign of how much Merlin had changed in the last year that killing someone who threatened him, but had not yet acted on it seemed like a plausible action. The Merlin of last year couldn't harm someone until they had proven they were a threat. 

After seeing so many attempts on Arthur's life though, Merlin had developed a sixth sense for who was serious and who was not. This judgment was enough for him to want to chase down Garith, and if Garith so much as hinted at the threat again, Merlin wouldn't hesitate to kill him. He didn't play around with the life of the most important person in his world. 

No one threatened Arthur in front of Merlin and got away with it.

Speaking of Arthur, Merlin looks up and notices Arthur is speaking quietly to Sir Leon. Merlin sees Sir Leon bow to Arthur, then turn and walk towards Merlin. Arthur has already continued his practice, as good at keeping up pretenses as ever. 

As Sir Leon reaches Merlin he says loudly, "Pick up my sword and follow me. Lead with the left foot."

Merlin is confused for a moment. He doesn't take orders from Leon, he takes them from Arthur. And that was an oddly specific order to give.  
Leon is looking at him determinedly, and Merlin turns to see Arthur looking just past him. He might be checking on Merlin in his peripheral vision. Merlin gives him a confused look, and Arthur nods his head almost imperceptibly. Merlin moves to pick up the sword, and only just remembers to lead with the left foot. He comes back and follows Sir Leon all the way into the castle. 

When they walk past the guards Leon leads them to a small room filled with flags woven into tapestries that Merlin's never seen before. The room is empty aside from them and colorful fabrics with coats of arms covering every wall. It's really quite beautiful, and Merlin had had no idea of its existence.  
Merlin's musings are interrupted by Sir Leon's voice asking "Are you alright?" Leon's leaning into Merlin, staring at his chest, hand on his sword.  
Merlin steps back and collides with a wall. He's trapped. He looks frantically to both sides for a way out. He stutters out, "What are we doing here, Leon?"  
It hadn't even occurred to him to be worried following Leon into this room, but now he realizes he's in a room alone with a knight. It's a knight he thinks he trusts, but wouldn't the person who cursed him be someone he trusts too? 

Merlin couldn't remember meeting any strangers yesterday, much less letting one get within inches of him. The sorcerer is probably someone he trusts, and what business does Sir Leon have leading him away to a small room in an unguarded part of the castle? And Sir Leon ordered him to follow, and checked to see that he did it. Was this the sorcerer checking to see that Merlin was still cursed? Merlin was breathing rapidly and he took a step back from Leon who was leaning in further towards him.

Leon's face is concerned as he answers, "I am to guard you and to assist you in remembering who attacked you. I am to also give you clear and obvious orders for you to follow and to make sure I am overheard when giving them. These were the prince's orders."

"Oh. Uh, ok." Merlin gasps relieved. Of course he could trust Leon. "Why are you staring at my chest?" Merlin asks.

"What?" Leon responds, startled. "Ah, I do apologize. My cousin was cursed once and his entire chest lit up with green light whenever someone with magic came within a hundred yards of him."

"Wow. Who did that to him?"

"A sorcerer he had been hunting under orders of the king some twelve years ago. When he caught the sorcerer and went to take him to the King, the sorcerer broke away from  
him and said that he would give him his wish of finding all the magic users. He would give him his wish and it would be a curse greater than any he could imagine."

"And what happened to your cousin?"

"He went insane. His chest glowed no matter where he went, no matter what he did. He became paranoid of everyone, turned against even his own mother accusing her of sorcery, and on the third day he went to the woods, trying to escape all sorcerers so that he could finally be safe and free of the horrible magic. He could never get far enough away."

"How do you know?" Merlin questioned.

"I followed him." Leon admitted. "I was never more than a day behind, and every time I caught up to him he was still glowing that hideous shade of putrid green."

Leon paused, looking down. His face was closed, eyes sad. Merlin wasn't sure if he would continue. "What happened?" he pressed.

"The last day I followed him he called out to me. He said, "I know you're there, Leon. I know you're there! His voice -" Leon chocked. "His voice was so disturbed. So angry, so  
unhinged. It was as if he feared me."

He demanded that I kill him. I wouldn't do it. I let him go and stayed farther back that day. When I caught up with him that night, I found his body. Even in death his chest glowed."

"I'm sorry, Leon. I can tell you cared for him deeply."

Leon nodded. Merlin could see that his eyes were closed. "What was your cousin's name?"

"His name was Balfor."

"Well, I appreciate your help and I can assure you that I am fine now. We will find the sorcerer and stop him."

"Yes. We will find and destroy this sorcerer." Leon answers, voice hard and determined. "For you and for Balfor."

Merlin has to take a deep breath, that was an emotional moment where he felt that he was connecting with Leon, and yet he feels like he stepped backwards again. Yes, he agrees with Leon that that sorcerer was bad, and Merlin is sad for Leon's loss, but Leon's staunch anti-sorcerer interpretation of the story will make it that much harder to persuade him to accept magic. Merlin's once again not sure if he will ever be able to get beyond the deeply ingrained prejudices against sorcerers of the people in Camelot.  
Merlin is jolted from his musings by the opening of the door. "What progress have we made?" comes Arthur's clear, confident voice.

"Arrthur! How did you find us?" Merlin stutters. Arthur looks quickly from Leon to Merlin. The two are standing very close together and Leon looks out of sorts.

"I told Leon to take you here, of course. Why, am I interrupting something MERlin?" Arthur asks pointedly.

"Of course not. We were just talking about Balfor." Merlin answers. Leon sucks in a deep breath at his name.

Arthur's expression changes immediately into one of respect. "Of course." he answers, and bows his head in acknowledgement of the former knight.

Arthur looks back at Merlin then and quickly looks away when Merlin meets his eyes. He's a lot less certain in his actions when there isn't a reason to be mad at Merlin or an excuse to hide his affections. He wants to grab Merlin and kiss him now but it would be wildly inappropriate. Does Merlin feel the same? He couldn't possibly want Arthur as much as Arthur wants him. Merlin's lips are so pink and full. So kissable. He could just lean in, reach his right hand around Merlin and pull him into a kiss. It would be effortless. And that lip-biting Merlin was doing was driving him insane. He could …

"We've made no progress as of yet, sire." Leon answers.

Oh, right, the curse. Arthur thinks, immensely glad no one can read his thoughts.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Arthur questions impatiently. "Merlin, what can you remember about yesterday?"

"Uh," Merlin mumbles distracted. He wasn't exactly focusing on the curse situation. Kind of impossible to do with Arthur standing a foot away in his chain mail still sweaty from  
practice. Merlin had no idea why he found sweaty Arthur so attractive. Maybe it was the pheromones? Gaius was talking about those yesterday and how they related to the four humors.

"Well, Merlin?" Arthur asks again.

"I remember getting out of bed, eating a piece of bread, delivering some potions for Gaius, fetching your breakfast from the kitchens, bringing you your breakfast, polishing your armor, a bunch of other uninteresting chores, lunch, washing and folding your clothes, and then my mind goes completely blank from then until walking into your chambers."

"How did you know to walk into Arthur's chambers?" Leon asks. "And were you carrying anything?"

"I don't know. I knew I needed to go to Arthur's chamber. I think someone ordered me to proceed normally, and preparing Arthur for the feast would have been my normal duty." Merlin responded.

"Can you remember anything else?" Arthur presses.

"No." Merlin responds.

No amount of questions led to a fuller answer. Leon asked about the rest of the day, Arthur focused on every single person Merlin had encountered that day. Merlin even started asking himself questions aloud, that's how frustrated he was with his own lack of answers. 

The whole day after clothes washing was either not there in his memory or a blur that felt like it had been someone else living his life and looking out through his eyes. Merlin was so flustered and exhausted that he was relieved when Arthur exclaimed, "This isn't getting anywhere. Let's go back to our day. Merlin will come to my chambers to finish his chores, Leon, keep a look out for anyone suspicious. I want you to shadow Merlin throughout the day anytime he's not with me. I want you to pay attention to who watches him. The sorcerer, if present, should be trying to determine whether Merlin is still under their power. Understood?"

"Yes, sire." Leon answers.

"Good. Now try and appear as if nothing is amiss. Follow me, Merlin." Arthur commands and strides out of the room.

Merlin follows, laughing to himself with the realization that even not cursed he'd still respond to that order from Arthur anytime.

When they reach Arthur's chambers Arthur orders Merlin to polish his armor, empty his chamber pot, and draw him a bath.

Merlin huffs. He'd thought Arthur might have had something else in mind when he ordered him to his chambers, but Arthur hasn't even looked at him since he entered. It feels a little cold given the progress of their relationship in the past day. Or at least Merlin had thought their relationship was progressing. Maybe that was one sided.

Arthur's shoulders are tense and he's still facing away. Merlin reaches to pick up the armor and the polishing cloth. Arthur sighs and turns to look at Merlin.

"I keep waiting for the moment when you realize I'm a prat." The unspoken ending of 'and leave me' is clear to both of them. It hangs in the air, tense with Arthur's rare moment of honesty and vulnerability. Arthur looks up to see what Merlin will do with it.

"Arthur I would die for you, I've shown you that many times. Of course I love you. You don't need to worry about you ordering me around changing that." Merlin responds with a smile.

Wow. Arthur's amazed at how happy and assured Merlin's words make him. He stops for a moment and realizes he does feel loved and cherished by Merlin. Even when he jokes Merlin is always there for him. Arthur trusts him. Not just with his life, but with his insecurities. He knows Merlin will accept him and judge him kindly. He wants Merlin to feel the same, but what comes out of his mouth is, "So you like being ordered around?" accompanied by a smirk and raised eyebrow.

"That isn't what I said, and you know it." Merlin replies.

Somehow having cleanly polished armor doesn't seem as important to Arthur anymore. He'll focus on Merlin now and come up with another plan on how to progress with the sorcerer situation later. For now, he just needs Merlin to know how he feels. He needs to show him.


	5. The Quickening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwaine interrupts Arthur and Merlin with some surprising news, then everything spirals out of control faster than any of them can process. Uther (as usual) is a kind, sympathetic character. You are all going to love him here. ;)

Arthur walks toward Merlin to pull him into a kiss and Merlin meets him head on. Arthur doesn’t know or care where his hands are, he just cares that he has Merlin. The outside world doesn't matter. That is until a loud thumping sounds outside the door.

Merlin and Arthur turn toward the sound, breaking apart as Arthur reaches for his sword on instinct. He’s just drawn it when Gwaine bursts into the room.

All three men look flushed. Gwaine had clearly been running. He doesn’t pause to think about why the other two looked flushed, or why Arthur has drawn his sword. 

"The armory's been broken into. Someone stole half the weapons. The guard on duty would have sounded the warning bell but someone cut its string.” Gwaine says.  
"It's string?" Merlin questioned.

"Yes, our warning bell is suspended with a string that moves the bell and causes the brass ball inside to hit against the bell and ring. Why did no one notice the string was missing?" Arthur questioned.

"Well, the string on the inside holding up the brass ball was cut. Most bells have a brass pendulum with the ball hanging from them, but maybe the equipment in Camelot is inferior, Princess." Gwaine answered.

Arthur starts to ask how it is that Gwaine knows so much about the mechanics of warning bells anyway, but realizes they have bigger issues. _Who stole Camelot's weapons? Where were they? How did they steal them, and for what purpose?_

"The guard is to be brought to me in the hall immediately. Make sure there are two in his place." Arthur orders Gwaine. Gwaine nods and goes, smiling at Merlin as he exits.  
Merlin sees and smiles happily at Gwaine. Arthur notices and frowns.

“We must go to the hall immediately where we can address the knights and interrogate the guard. That's where my father will be.”

Merlin nods his assent and they both set out toward the hall at a brisk pace, walking side by side.

When they reach the hall, Uther calls Arthur to him. "I have dispatched two-thirds of the guards to guard the armory and the castle, looking for impending threats and any means of transporting the weapons. The other third of the guard are interrogating the lower town to find any trace of how the weapons were moved out or who did it. I shouldn't have to stress to you the severity of the situation, Arthur. This breech to Camelot's security cannot be allowed. You must find and return the weapons by nightfall and KILL the person responsible."

Uthur's tone left no room for mistake. Arthur would succeed as his father told him to. It was his duty to keep Camelot safe. "I will start with interrogating the guard who was on duty." Arthur responds.

Uther nods his head in agreement with the statement, just as Sir Gwaine and Sir Elyan bring the guard in.

"When did the break-in take place?" Arthur asks the groveling man before him.

"I do not know sire. When I came to guard the armory, I could see most of the weapons where they should be. It wasn't until twenty minutes ago that I walked through the entire  
armory and realized more than half of the weapons were missing."

"So you failed to perform a thorough search when you took over for the previous guard?"Arthur presses.

"Yes, my lord." He utters in defeat and shame.

"Bring in the guard who was on duty before this man. Who was it?"

"Belvedor, sire." It is only a few minutes of anticipation before the knights bring in the distraught former knight that Arthur had sacked only this morning.

"Were the weapons in their rightful place when you passed your guard duty on to this man this day?" Arthur questioned Belvedor. Then, remembering how Belvedor was attacking  
Merlin last night he adds, "And who did you have relieve you for the hour yesterday evening I saw you walking the grounds?" Uther's eyes lift at this, becoming more sharp and focused.

"I don't know!" The man whines, wretchedly, "The last thing I remember clearly is your manservant bringing me lunch yesterday afternoon before the feast. I can't remember anything else."

Arthur turns to Merlin, wide-eyed. The silent question of if Merlin remembers doing that is obvious in Arthur's face. Merlin shakes his head no, and Arthur continues with the interrogation, realizing that it was a cursed Merlin not acting of his own free will that had gone to see Belvedor in the armory.

Arthur has paused for a moment too long in his interrogation. The mistake becomes clear and grave when Uther jumps in with a question directed at Merlin, "Is it part of your normal duty to bring the armory guard lunch?"

"No, I don't remember doing that, sire." Merlin responds.

"Arthur, Camelot is under attack from the inside and suspicions point to your servant who has the resources and position to have stolen your key to the armory and a potion from Gaius to cause the guard to forget. He should be executed immediately." Uther states.

"What?" Arthur asks, in shock. That his father has such a well formed response and culprit at the ready surprises him; that it's Merlin prevents him from breathing.

"He is too caught up in this for it to be coincidental. And I have it on authority from one of my most trusted knights that he turned you against him. Sir Lushan, please step  
forward." Uther says.

Sir Lushan, one of the knights Arthur had dismissed this morning for taking advantage of Merlin stepped forward.

"Tell the court what you told me this morning." Uther instructs Sir Lushan.

"This servant, MERlin, has used the lure of his body to bewitch Arthur and turn him from his most loyal men and duty to Camelot for the servant's own selfish advancement. He is a cunning and ruthless seductress. And I fear Arthur is in his hold."

Merlin is shocked speechless. It feels cruel the way Lushan stressed his name just like Arthur was fond of doing, but in an undertone of such hate and distrust. And to think of him as a cunning seductress?! Merlin couldn't seduce someone if he tried. But then, he was in a relationship with Arthur. Would Arthur think there was some truth in Lushan's lies? The thought brought a sudden pain to Merlin's chest and he couldn't bear the thought of Arthur viewing him this way.

Arthur hasn't quite recovered from his father's order to execute Merlin, but he needs to focus on the relevant information and find a way out of this touchy situation before Merlin is taken from under him and executed. He CANNOT let that happen. He calms the shaking in his limbs and takes in the astonished and distrustful glares of the crowd toward Merlin. He can't just start defending Merlin, because Lushan's claim undermined his credibility in regard to Merlin. An enthusiastic proclamation of Merlin's innocence would seem to confirm Lushan's statement, just as his disastrous attempts at trying to save Gwen when Uther had accused her of enchanting him into loving her had gone. 

Arthur hadn't mentioned that Merlin had been cursed before, because his father seemed to kill anyone who had any relation to magic, whether victim or sorcerer, without  
question and Arthur hadn't wanted to expose Merlin to that risk. Now though, it seemed like the only option. Uther already wanted to kill him. This way, at least Arthur could try and convince Uther Merlin was a witness who needed to be interrogated as to the identity of the sorcerer. Uther frequently tortured people he interrogated, but it would delay Merlin's execution, at least he hoped.

"Merlin was not acting of his own free mind yesterday, father. We discovered today that he had been cursed." Arthur states with an easy confidence so far from what he feels within that it is remarkable he pulled it off at all.

"What do you mean CURSED? And WHY WASN'T I INFORMED OF THIS?" Uther demands.

"He was cursed to have no will. It only just wore off and Gaius, Sir Leon and I have been trying to help him remember who might have cursed him. We have narrowed down the time to just before lunch and the culprit to someone who was within inches of Merlin at that time."

"How do you know the culprit was within inches?" Uther questioned.

"Gaius is confident the spell caster could not have succeeded with such a complicated spell from further away." Arthur answers simply.

"And you take your servant's word for this?" Uther demands incredulously. "Is not the simpler explanation that he betrayed us all and then invented this show of being cursed in  
order to distract us from his culpability?"

Arthur didn't know how he knew that Merlin was telling the truth. He could see how his father's explanation would make sense about someone else, but he trusted Merlin with his life. Arthur knew Merlin wasn't lying.

"He has convinced Gaius and Sir Leon as well, if you will not take my judgment, and it would be hasty to kill what might be our only source of information about the sorcerer and the purpose of the armory break in." Now, to address the court, "As to what Sir Lushan asserted, those are preposterous lies. I dismissed Lushan because he failed to uphold the honor of his station." Arthur spoke in a tone that left no room for doubt. He hoped it worked.

Uther did not look pleased. It seemed that he wanted Merlin's head on a block and was unsettled by the influence the servant appeared to have over his son. Arthur had expected as much since his actions with the mortise flower when Arthur had attempted to rescue Merlin. Still though, his father would not risk the kingdom by killing their best lead to their attackers. Sure enough, when Uther finally spoke he said, "We will interrogate him them. Guards, escort the manservant to the dungeon."

Merlin looks frightened as the guards pull at his arms, dragging him away. Arthur has to repress every instinct he has to help Merlin. This isn't the time. He has to squeeze his fists and stand through the screaming force inside him that is saying he might never see Merlin alive again.

It takes precious minutes to listen to the rest of his father's plan of action and finish interrogating the guards. Over twenty minutes has passed when Arthur finally reaches the dungeons.

As he enters with Sir Leon beside him, he hears a familiar voice speaking softly, "That lamb stew was amazing! I've never tasted anything so delicious! Right, Merlin?"

Arthur quickly recognizes the voice as Sir Gwaine’s. The knight looks just a little heartbroken as he stands outside Merlin's cell, leaning heavily against the door. It seems like a stupid question, but the intent is probably to cheer Merlin up. From Merlin's quiet response, it doesn’t seem to be working.

"I don't know." Merlin finally answers.

"What do you mean?" Gwaine asked, looking genuinely concerned now. "Lamb stew is your..."

"Favorite" Arthur cuts him off as he and Leon come to stand behind Gwaine in front of Merlin's cell. Arthur remembers Merlin sharing that information with him the night before when they were lying together on his bed.

Merlin's intimate sharing with him was forced by the curse, but Gwaine didn't need to know that. Arthur wants to show Gwaine that he knows that information about Merlin too.  
Arthur wants everyone, especially Gwaine, to know he is closest to Merlin. Never mind that Merlin had listed Gwaine as his favorite knight. That still pained Arthur. It made Arthur wonder: _If Gwaine decided he wanted Merlin, would Merlin leave Arthur for Gwaine?_

A moment after his mental tirade, Arthur shakes himself, disgusted. Merlin is potentially about to be executed if he fails him and Arthur is wasting time being jealous of Gwaine. That is unacceptable.

"How don't you know?" Arthur asks, a little harsher than he'd meant, receiving a glare from Gwaine.

I don't remember how it tasted. I remember putting the first bite of stew into my mouth, feeling excited about it, and then nothing else until walking into Arthur's chamber with the vague feeling that I had been ordered to behave normally."

"Maybe the stew was poisoned. Maybe he ingested the curse?" Gwaine supplied instantly, eyes bright, glancing at Leon and Arthur's expressions before turning to look at Merlin expectantly. It was one of those rare moments where Gwaine showed those around him that beneath the drunken bravado he was an intelligent man who should not be underestimated.

Arthur nodded, the idea made sense. They'd traced Merlin's memory problems back to their point of origin. The memory problems began with the first bite of soup. Now if they could just figure out the source and the perpetrator they might be able to prevent more attacks and save Merlin from the executioner's block.

As the executioner turned interrogator returned with a variety of torture instruments in his hands to stand looming before Merlin's cell, Arthur realized there were worse things than death.


	6. Tested Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur battles to maintain his focus on Camelot, what should be his first priority, while Merlin is questioned in the cell that has become a torture chamber.

"Gaius! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Arthur shouts. Fear and desperation are turning so insistently in his gut that he is amazed he can stand in the room and answer Gaius at all. 

He doesn't feel like he should be able to do anything with Merlin in the room next door being tortured. He still can’t believe he had walked away from the dungeon Merlin was in. 

He'd abandoned Merlin and left him at the mercy of the executioner to be tortured.

Only that isn't what happened. Arthur is letting his mind run away with his heart. He took another deep breath to calm his chaotic emotions that are demanding he go and see 

Merlin RIGHT NOW. Merlin was going to be fine, he needed to trust that. He'd done everything he could to ensure Merlin's safety, and rushing back there now would only weaken Merlin's position. Gaius was right. He needed to listen.

"An attack on Camelot's armory is an attack against Camelot herself. We now lack the weaponry to supply half of our guard. In the event of an attack on the castle, we will be highly vulnerable." Gaius states.

Arthur nods. He understands why this is important. He just can't focus over his fear for Merlin. But Gwaine and Leon are with him, guarding him. He has to be able to trust his knights. It's the only way he can build Camelot and defend her from harm. He has to be able to rely on his guard of honorable and loyal men. Arthur has finally calmed himself enough to listen to Gaius, and Gaius realizes it. He takes this moment of Arthur's absolute attention to focus on what he feels is most important, 

"You know Merlin only has about an hour before they tire of your questioning method and less than a day after they realize he remembers nothing before they kill him."

There is no question in Gaius's tone. It is said with the absolute certainty of someone who has seen hundreds of people executed for expected treachery under Uther's reign.   
Arthur is breathing so fast he could be hyperventilating. All he feels is panic. This is worse than any fight he's ever been in. He doesn't know what to focus on, what to attack. There isn't an enemy for him to destroy. There is just the most important person in his life. The person whom he loves and trusts as a friend and only recently as something more.   
He can't bear the thought of loosing this person, and the fear of it is drowning him. It's making him weak.

But that isn't what Merlin needs. Merlin needs Arthur to save him. And for Merlin, Arthur will be anything.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Merlin fists his hands and tries to keep from passing out in terror. He doesn't know how this nightmare happened so fast. An hour ago he was in the great hall by Arthur's side. Now he is sitting on a chair in the dungeon facing the most intimidating man he's ever seen. 

Torture instruments lay about the room on the floor and Merlin's ankle is chained to the wall. He tries to breathe deeply and answer the guard's question of what he had done yesterday. This situation had the potential to get a lot worse, hell, it was meant to BE a lot worse, but then Arthur had intervened. He'd been amazing. The strength with which he stared down the executioner twice his size and DEMANDED that Merlin be interrogated without harm was stunning. Arthur had glowed with righteous indignation and determination when he said it. The guard had nodded respectfully to the prince and said, "Yes, sire." Arthur had then stood there waiting, as if he planned to preside over the entire interrogation. Merlin felt happy and relaxed for the first time since he'd been dragged to the dungeon. Arthur would stay there to ensure he was protected. Arthur, his very own knight in shining armor.

That was five minutes before Gaius walked through the door urgently requesting an audience with the Prince.

Arthur had seemed ready to refuse, but then Gaius had said, "This matter is of the impending threat of attack on Camelot and CAN NOT be delayed."

Arthur had looked more conflicted than Merlin had ever seen him, and he had turned to stare right into Merlin's eyes, searching. Merlin had found himself nodding, smiling lightly, and inclining his head toward the door. He had given Arthur permission to leave. Arthur had a kingdom to run and protect. Merlin could manage himself. At least that's what he had thought then.

Now he wasn’t so sure.

Arthur had seemed to accept Merlin's reassurance. He declared that two members of his father's guard were to stay there and ensure his orders of not harming the prisoner were upheld. "Sir Leon and Sir Gwaine, if you would accept?" Arthur had asked the two knights who were present.

They both had nodded their assent. Gwaine had looked like he'd fight to the death before leaving, and that made Merlin happy. Gwaine had always been a good friend, and Merlin's favorite knight next to Lancelot.

If only this interrogation was going better.

"What do you mean you don't remember lunch?" The interrogator questioned stiffly.

"I don't remember anything after lunch for about an hour. Then I have hazy memories of getting the Prince ready for the feast, attending the feast, and then coming back to myself that night."

"Who did you see at lunch?"

"The normal kitchen staff. I had eaten ahead of time, as usual. Nothing out of place." Only something doesn't sit right with that statement in Merlin's mind. It keeps resonating, with this strong feeling that something was significantly different. He's trying to remember the scene peice by piece. He heard a deep chorus of laughter before he walked through the door to find Bessy the cook and five or so scullery maids busy cutting vegetables. Something had seemed off about that. Then, when he picked up the stew they had set aside specially for him, he'd noticed something strange, that looked like flower petals in it. He hadn't thought much about it at the time, but maybe it mattered. It wouldn't be the first time a flower petal was cursed.

He started to share this with the guard, but he heard Gwaine, who was standing between the guard and Merlin leaning against the wall, interrupt, "You can sit back down. You haven't asked half the important questions yet."

The guard who had stood and was walking toward the cat of nine tails sneered and said, "Commoner, you would do well to remember that a Prince's order does not outrank a King's."

Merlin wondered for the thousandth time why he hadn't spent more time coming up with ways to covertly magic himself out of desperate situations. Before the first lash comes down on him, he has time to hope he doesn't loose himself to the point he uses magic to save himself from harm. If it comes down to sustianing unbearable torture, or revealing his secret, he doesn't even begin to have the presence of mind to determine which is worse. Then he remembers the look of horror and disgust on Arthur's face when he'd thought he'd cursed Merlin. Arthur had hated himself. To see that disgust and hatred turned against Merlin would be unbearable. He has to endure everything. He can't reveal his magic. And it's the recollection of Arthur's disgusted face in his mind that keeps Merlin from doing any more than shouting when the first lick of the whip cuts across his shoulder. He can feel each of its nine tails.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I need to rescue Merlin." Arthur states.

"Yes, but first you need to find the weapons. Whoever stole them has quite possibly coordinated an attack on Camelot". Gaius answers.

"Find them? Then we should search outside the city. They've been missing for over a day, and could be anywhere. WE DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME, GAIUS!" Arthur shouts, feeling powerless and overwhelmed. He needs to get to Merlin, and he needs to protect his city. He feels utterly unequipped to do either.

"Do you really think so? The knights have been searching for clues to how someone got the weapons out for the past half hour and nothing has come back. Don't you think someone would have noticed if that many weapons left?"

"Maybe the person was cursed, and the weapons were probably concealed in a cart or something." Arthur answered.

"It would take four cartloads to get that many weapons out. Also, no one could enchant every person they encountered yesterday afternoon to not notice a cart going through the gates." Gaius adds. He looks thoughtful for a moment after, but Arthur doesn't have time for his guessing games. "Although I suppose they could have attempted to sneak out the weapons last night when there would be fewer people out in the streets."

"SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, GAIUS!" Arthur demands.

"I don't think the weapons left the castle." Gaius answers at once.

Arthur stops short. Maybe an opposing army didn't need Camelot's weapons, they just needed Camelot not to have them when they attacked. This might be right, but where would they have put them? And wasn't that banking on Camelot not discovering them in time? If that were Arthur's plan, he would have moved the weapons somewhere close to the armory itself where he could move them quickly with little chance of being overseen by castle servants or guards. Somewhere near the armory that likely wouldn't be checked. Instantly, an answer comes to mind and Arthur races to the armoury to see if he's right as fast as his thumping heels and heart will take him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Gwaine jumps in front of Merlin pulling at the retreading whip. He doesn't quit catch hold of it, but from his stance and the fury in his eyes it's clear what he intends: to defend Merlin no matter what.

Leon moves in the same beat to stand beside Gwaine. He looks much more collected when he asks, "What was the King's order, exactly?"

"He said to get results. This isn't getting results." The guard responds. Lip snarled as he glares down at Gwaine.

Leon nods, then says, "Perhaps it is the questioner he is not responding to. I will question Merlin. If there are no results at the end of the hour and the Prince has not yet returned, then we will discuss your methods."

Gwaine is wide-eyed and angry when he turns to Leon as if he betrayed him when he suggested they would whip Merlin in an hour if results were not made. Gwaine hasn't moved from in front of Merlin and he switches back to staring down the guard. His right shoulder now tensed and angled away from Leon.

The guard looks unconvinced and ready to swing again.

"I had great results earlier when I interrogated the prisoner. And if results are what the King is truly after, as the kingdom depends on, then torture is not the way. This fool becomes a groveling mess when he is injured. He'll be worthless for questioning." Leon continues.

Gwaine is tenser and angrier. Merlin doesn't know what to think of Leon insulting him. The guard though, looks more convinced. "I've seen people become useless, whimpering fools when they're tortured. He looks like just the sort. If you can get results, I'd be happy to give you till the end of the hour to try." The guard has an unsettling twist to his mouth when he says the last line. Leon nods and says, "Then we must hurry. The hour ends in fifteen minutes."

Both Gwaine and Merlin turn aghast looks on him. The guard's lips burst into a full grin, exposing rotten, uneven teeth as he nods to Leon and answers, "Fourteen minutes now."


	7. A Child and a Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur makes a breakthrough in finding the weapons and Merlin realizes he can save himself bodily harm by answering the guard's questions. The only problem is Merlin still doesn't remember and, unlike Gwaine, he's a terrible liar.

"You can trust me, Merlin. You are safe here." Leon says, in a firm calming voice. _It isn't possible for that line to be more of an outright falsehood_ , Merlin thinks, both stunned and hurt that Sir Leon would lie to him so directly. Gwaine looked aghast as well, but Leon shakes his head at him and proceeds as if Merlin's silence was expected.

"Was there anything out of place about yesterday?" Leon asks. Merlin says nothing. He's too anxious to think, much less answer a question and his shoulder is killing him. He can feel blood dripping down from his torn open skin.

"Talk with me openly, Merlin. Just tell me what you think about yesterday. Something must have seemed odd to you. What's important? Tell me.", Leon persists. He's kneeled down in front of Merlin and his eyes are pleading with Merlin now to give him anything he can use to pacify the king and get to the bottom of this. At least, that's what Merlin hopes it is. He hopes Leon is still on his side. Maybe since Uther threw him down here Leon's alliance has switched from Merlin. Perhaps he no longer cares.

Leon reaches out his hand and touches Merlin's chest, "Merlin, please. I want to help you. I know you were cursed, through no fault of your own, and I want to bring justice to the magic user who did this to you." Leon taps Merlin's chest, right over his heart. Merlin is even more terrified by his action and words, but there's something about the tap to the chest that draws Merlin's memory. What is it? Bits and pieces are coming to Merlin over the fog of his panic - chest - Leon - the color green.

The constant clacking sound of the executioner impatiently tapping his foot on the cold stone floor distracts him. Each tap rings hollow and distant. It's as if the sound is taunting him. A dim foreshadow of what his body will soon be.

The executioner begins to laugh - an empty, cruel chuckle that seems to validate all of Merlin's fears. He is about to die. Cold, terrified, and alone. Leon says nothing, Gwaine looks desperate, and the clock on the wall before him says three minutes have passed.

Gwaine's voice enters Merlin's consciousness. "Come on, Merlin. You can do it. Remember something."

Merlin wants to. He wants to remember something useful but he can't. He doesn't have any memories. And what little he did remember is lost in the panic and terror he feels. He can't focus. He is weak from blood loss and fear.

"Merlin, please. All of Camelot is in danger now and you might be the key to saving us. Who cursed you?" Leon pleads again, still on the ground in front of Merlin and staring straight into his eyes.

' _All of Camelot might be in danger_ ' Merlin repeats in his head. He can think of many people he wants to keep safe: Gaius, Gwen, Lance, yet one person stands out. One person whom he can't bear to have in danger and yet always seems to be: _Arthur_. Merlin breathes and focuses on nothing but Arthur. Only Arthur until he feels Arthur's adrenaline, and sees Arthur's image in his mind's eye. He sees Arthur, radiant blonde hair, and childish puzzlement sitting on the floor moving something in his hands. Merlin starts to smile at the image, before the visions of eerie green light and deep chuckling return, reverberating in his mind and scattering what is left of the image of Arthur.

Merlin looks up at Leon, opens his mouth to speak, and what comes out of his lips when they move surprises even him. "It was a knight." Merlin says. "It was a knight you knew."

Elyan and Percival had just finished interrogating the last of the townsfolk as to the whereabouts of the weapons and were heading back to report the disappointing lack of information they had gleaned to the King. Not a single person had seen anything helpful to report to the knights. _One would think the weapons had never left at all,_ Elyan murmured to himself.

"What was that?", Percival asked.

"I just said one would think the weapons -"Elyan begins to respond, surprised that Percival would comment on what he said. Percival usually kept to himself, but Elyan would gladly answer his question.

Percival quickly interrupts though, "No, that blur running through the hall. Was that Arthur?"

"Best follow and see." Elyan replies and the two follow after the red and silver blur quickly.

When they finally catch up, they are almost at the armoury and it's clear the blur is Arthur. "Arthur! We have had no luck finding the weapons, no one we asked has seen them." Sir Elyan calls to Arthur as they reach him.

"I am not surprised. Help me with this door!" Arthur answers and Sir Percival lifts up the bar across the armoury, allowing Arthur to open the door and move inside.

The armoury was on the ground floor of the castle, so that it would be easy for soldiers to reach it for reinforcements amidst a battle. Beneath the armoury ran the sewer, that drained out into the moat. There were several places that the sewer could be reached to unclog waste build up and the armoury held one such place. As Arthur moved into the armoury, he spotted right at the back of the room the circular iron cover that blocked the entrance to the sewer.

Arthur had learned as a kid that the iron sewer cover was round so that any way it was turned, it would never fall in. He'd spent half a day playing by the sewer entrance, turning the lid and trying to force it through the hole into the sewer below. Since then, he'd forgotten about the sewer entrance, paying no more attention to it than he paid to the curtains, or the stone floor. It had become nothing more than a fixture in his mind, and he could see how it was easily overlooked.

Percival and Elyan followed Arthur to the sewer entrance and knelt beside him. Arthur pulled off the iron cover and revealed a heap of sledge and filth in the crawl space below.

It would have been fitfully anticlimactic, were it not for the arrow and tail end of a sword sticking out of the pile of filth below.

He'd found the weapons.

"Who's going to clean these?"Elyan asked, in clear distaste, the fumes from the sewage drifting up into the room.

"You are." Arthur answered. "I need to report to my Father. And we need these weapons clean and functioning as soon as possible in case our enemies decide to attack Camelot."  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was a collective gasp in the room and all eyes were trained intently on Merlin.

"Who? Which knight?" Gwaine asks quickly.

Merlin shakes his head, confused and overwhelmed. He was thinking about the story Leon told him of his cousin who was cursed. The green light, the chest, it was about Balfor, a knight that Leon knew well. That's who he was thinking of when he answered, not who attacked Camelot.

Merlin could see that the answer had helped him though. The guard looked intrigued and Gwaine looked relieved they finally had information. Leon looked unsettled.

 _It made sense to keep feeding the knights information,_ Merlin thought. Even if he had to lie outright, it was better then being tortured.

But Merlin was always a bad liar. "It was, he was, uhh" he started. He could see the guard growing impatient with him. He decided to keep as much to the truth as he could, "When I went to get Arthur's lunch from the kitchen, something was off. There was a deep chuckling right before I entered the room, but no one I saw in the kitchens was male. There had to be a man there who was hiding from me, but who was trusted by the kitchen staff. My guess is a knight."

Gwaine interrupts, "But couldn't it be someone else? A servant or a guard? How do you know it was a knight?"

"Or a knight I knew well?" Leon adds.

"What do you mean _your guess_? Are you saying you aren't certain it was a knight?" The guard questioned angrily.

"It was more than just that. This was someone who knew the castle and the armory well. Someone who knew where to hide the weapons. "

"What do you mean hide the weapons?" Gwaine interrupts again.

"The weapons were never removed from the castle. The armory guard and I piled them into the sewer." Merlin responded.

"YOU WHAT?!" The guard shouted.

"Someone needs to inform Arthur immediately" Leon says, rising from his knees and starting toward the door.

"I'm not leaving Merlin here." Gwaine states, looking firmly at the guard.

"Arthur already knows." Merlin says. Merlin doesn't know how he knows, but he knows the image from before came from Arthur. He could see the image clearly now: it was child Arthur turning and prodding a large iron plate as the afternoon sun streamed in the window, falling on maces, and swords before settling on the child's locks of brilliant blonde hair. The scene was from the armory. Arthur had been thinking that when Merlin reached out to him. Arthur must have made the connection.

Merlin would have told him himself, but it wasn't until he saw child Arthur playing with the iron cover that he remembered lifting it himself and throwing weapons inside. He had cursed the armory guard, yesterday, and he had moved the weapons into the sewer. Whoever cursed him knew he could use magic. And they had used him to make the castle vulnerable.


	8. Loyalty to the Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur, still separated from Merlin and with growing anxiety as to his lover's safety, is forced to struggle with court politics. A wrong move could see Merlin surely killed, and patience and politics have rarely been the Prince's strong point. Meanwhile, deep in the dungeons Sir Gwaine's true character is revealed.

"How does Arthur already know?" Leon demands.

"I saw..." Merlin starts before his brain catches up to him. Admitting he can see Arthur's thoughts will come across as either insane or as being a sorcerer. Normal people can't see thoughts, but then Merlin had felt so connected to Arthur and he'd been reaching out to him, it just seemed natural to him. Just like he could hear Mordred speaking in his head.

"What did you see?" Gwaine asks, enraptured, and angled toward Merlin still using his body as a physical barrier between the executioner and Merlin.

"I-I" Merlin stutters. He doesn't have an answer, he doesn't have time. "I just know Arthur would have figured it out by now. Arthur's a master at strategy." _There_ , Merlin thinks. _That's a good explanation for what he said that doesn't make him crazy or executed._

"That's not good enough. You don't know Arthur has found them." Leon answers, opening the door. "It is my duty to Camelot to inform him. I'm sorry, Merlin." Leon glances at both Gwaine and the guard before quickly leaving.

A feral smile stretches across the executioner's face as the door clangs shut behind Sir Leon. "Now we get to do things my way," he says.

Gwaine looks more calm then Merlin's ever seen him as he nods at the executioner. The executioner has turned his back to shift through his toys, each more terrifying than the next. For one hopeful moment, Merlin thinks Gwaine will strike the guard while his back is turned, but nothing happens. Of course it doesn't. Sir Gwaine is a knight of Camelot. He wouldn't betray the King just to help Merlin.

The executioner turns around, with a mace in his hand.

"Good choice." Gwaine states appreciatively, eyeing the mace.

A sob escapes Merlin's throat. It's not just terror that consumes him, but an overwhelming sadness at Gwaine's cruelty. He had thought Gwaine was his friend.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Arthur moves quickly to the throne room where he knows his father will be, mind spinning furiously. _How will he convince his father to let Merlin go?_

When he reaches the throne room the guards instantly open the door for him. He steps inside, chin up, and surveys the room. Experience has taught him not to begin speaking until he understands the situation and the audience. No matter how pressing his news, his father would not forgive Arthur if he interrupted him in the middle of an order.

All of Uther's twelve man war council sat assembled around his long table, expressions of stony silence or eagerness marking their faces. All hardened warriors, no doubt, to have earned a place at his father's hand.

"Without knowing the..." Uther halts mid-sentence and focuses on Arthur. "What news have you?" Uther barks at him.

"We found the weapons and are cleaning them now." Arthur answers. "They were in the sewer just below the armory."

Uther's expression morphs to one of surprise, but his features stay stern. "Then we don't have to worry about anyone using them against us." Uther says aloud, thinking as he speaks. "What was the purpose in hiding them?"

Arthur can't focus. All his thoughts are on Merlin. How can he get Merlin to safety? Only a direct order from the King could see Merlin released from the dungeons. Here he was in front of the King, yet bringing up Merlin in the midst of a war council meeting would be utterly foolish, especially in light of Lushan's claims. Uther would be more likely to order Merlin executed again then to set him free. Arthur needs another plan.

"If I may, your majesty" Gaius starts, and continues with a nod from Uther, "Perhaps our enemies underestimated our cleverness and believed we would not find the weapons before they attacked. The goal could have been to leave us incapacitated."

That's exactly what Arthur thinks. He also thinks it makes sense for the enemy to attack Camelot as soon as possible, because every moment's delay from the time the weapons went missing yesterday increases the chance that Camelot will have found the weapons and boosted her defenses. If this was Arthur's attack plan he would have attacked yesterday. Uther would undoubtedly come to the same conclusion. None of this helped Arthur with protecting Merlin. Dungeons were dangerous places during sieges, where men were trapped for invading foes to easily kill, and often left to starve by guards who were too busy defending the castle to care for prisoners.

_THAT'S IT!_ Arthur realizes. _If all the guards are busy defending the castle, it will be easy for him to sneak Merlin out. Merlin could camp in the forest until they could work out a way to clear his name._

"If that were the case, we would expect the enemy to attack as soon as possible, while we are still floundering for weapons." Uther answers. "We should prepare for attack immediately. Send all the knights to siege positions at the wall, and clear the lower town."

"Father," Arthur says, turning to Uther for permission to speak and waiting until Uther inclines his head to continue, "We need a task force to clean the weapons, if the knights are fighting."

"Yes." Uther responds, "Use the guards and servants."

Arthur bows to Uther and withdraws himself from the room. That's exactly what he wanted to do. Now he can ensure Merlin's safety. He only hopes he isn't too late. Surely Gwaine and Leon are keeping him safe. He can trust his men for that.

Arthur's stomach drops out from beneath him and his body runs cold with fear as he turns to see Leon in the hallway. Merlin isn't with him.  
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Can I see that mace?" Gwaine asks the guard.

"No delays." The guard responds walking toward Merlin. He lifts the mace above his head, eyes trained on Merlin's chained hand. Merlin prepares himself to be the brand new owner of an unrecognizably smashed stub of flesh at the end of his arm.

"In that case..." Gwaine moves in front of Merlin and the guard swings for him instead. Gwaine, anticipating the guard's attack, feints right jumping out of the way of the mace just in time, then spins his sword in the air and smacks the guard on the head with the blunt end of his sword. The guard falls to the floor knocked out, mace crashing down into his knee as it falls.

"WHaat?" Merlin asks, stunned.

"I've been wanting to do that since we walked in." Gwaine answers, already pulling the keys from the guard's belt to unlock the chains around Merlin.

"But you complimented his weapon choice!" Merlin rebuts, as if this explains everything.

Gwaine gives him a confused yet indulgent smile. Then he nods. "It is a great mace."

Merlin's a bit phased as Gwaine unlocks the chains on him and ushers him out the door, arm around his waist half dragging, half carrying him.

"Where are we going?" Merlin asks, still startled that Gwaine fought a King's guard to free him. Then suddenly Merlin realizes and exclaims, "You'll hang for this!"

Gwaine smiles and says, "Only if they catch me."

They pass two more guards on the way out of the dungeon. One of them looks at Gwaine questioningly.

"He remembers!" Gwaine exclaims enthusiastically gesturing to Merlin with the arm that isn't supporting him. "Time to take him to Uther so he can explain."

The guard seems overwhelmed by Gwaine's exhuberance but he nods his head and stands aside, allowing Gwaine and Merlin to pass by.

Gwaine navigates them out a side entrance and towards the training grounds. When they finally reach the lower town and can blend into the bustle around them, Gwaine stops Merlin.

"Here," Gwaine says as he tears at the shirt under his chain mail. "Let me stop this bleeding." He pulls a thick strip from the bottom of his shirt, exposing his lower abs beneath the chain mail. Merlin might have started drooling but Gwaine didn't mention it. Hopefully he chalked it up to blood loss and exhaustion.

Gwaine made quick work of tying his shirt around Merlin's shoulder and stopping the bleeding from the nine cuts the whip had made in his flesh.

The act left Gwaine firmly in Merlin's space.

Merlin had to breathe deeply. He cared for Gwaine, he found Gwaine attractive, yes, it would be near impossible not to, but he didn't feel for him the way he did for Arthur. Merlin loved Arthur with all his heart. He wouldn't consider being more than friends with Gwaine unless Arthur rejected him outright, because Merlin knew Arthur would be hurt otherwise. Would he need to explain this to Gwaine? Gwaine seemed to be easy going about everything, would he be understanding in this?

"Is that Lancelot?" Gwaine asks, interrupting Merlin's thoughts and pointing to a man on horseback riding into the citadel.

"Yes." Merlin answers after a moment, having taken in the strained expression and dark hair of the man riding furiously toward the castle and recognizing him instantly. "I'd know that mask of false calm and duty anywhere."

"We should go and help." Merlin continues. "Lancelot wouldn't ride that fast if it wasn't an emergency.

"And since he's coming home early from his two-day patrol of the western front, I'd say it's likely he saw a threat." Gwaine answers.

"Like a marching army." Merlin answers. "Whoever enchanted me and hid the weapons was likely coordinating an attack." Then, when Gwaine says nothing Merlin adds imploringly, "We have to help. It's your duty as a knight!"

Gwaine shakes his head and continues leading Merlin south, out of the lower town and towards the forest.

"We're going the wrong way!" Merlin protests, but he doesn't struggle with Gwaine.

"I don't like the idea of abandoning Camelot during an impending attack, but keeping you safe is more important. You're the best friend I have." Gwaine says, no sign of charm or exaggeration in his features, just straight sincerity.

Merlin appreciates his words, he does, but he can't leave Arthur when Camelot is in danger. Even if he has to magic Gwaine asleep and run back to the castle and is captured and tortured in the process, he needs to be in the castle to keep Arthur safe. He needs to be near Arthur.

"You're thinking about running back, aren't you?" Gwaine asks, more statement than question as he looks at Merlin. "Your face is doing it's I'll win or die trying look. It's what first made me jump into that bar fight with you and Arthur. I knew we were outnumbered, but the determination on your face showed me you were going to win."

That's interesting. He'd never thought about why Gwaine had helped him and Arthur during the bar fight they'd first met.

"Let's go to my place first. We can talk it out and either pack supplies for a journey away or come up with a plan to better help Arthur and the knights." Gwaine said.

Merlin couldn't argue with that. He nodded, and Gwaine took a hard right, weaving him through the lower town. Looks like Merlin would finally get to see where Sir Gwaine lived.


	9. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur makes some quick and accurate deductions and Merlin gets a glimpse into Gwaine's life. It isn't at all what Merlin expected it would be.

"Leon, where's Merlin?" Arthur asks, not able to keep the panic out of his voice.

"Sire, the weapons are in the sewer below the armory." Leon answers, "…and Merlin is with Gwaine in the dungeons." He adds at Arthur's expectant look. _Merlin must have been right_ , Leon muses. _Arthur already knew about the weapons._

Arthur takes off at a run towards the dungeons. Leon follows dutifully at his heels.

"Where's Merlin!?" Arthur demands of the prison guards as he rounds the stairs into the dungeons.

"Sir Gwaine took the prisoner to the King. He said he remembered new information. He left about ten minutes ago." The first guard answers. _A surprisingly helpful response from a prison guard,_ Arthur thinks. Uther normally left the least intelligent of the guard to maintain the dungeons, which in Arthur's opinion explained the surprisingly frequent escapes from the Camelot dungeon.

Arthur starts to breathe again, but stops. He was just with the King and Gwaine and Merlin were not there. He had taken the most direct route to the dungeons; he should have passed them if they were headed there.

He walks to the cell he last saw Merlin in. He uses his master key to unlock the door and sees the executioner on the ground passed out. Arthur quickly closes the cell door before the guards see.

"You both need to report to the armory immediately for weapon cleaning duty." Arthur says to the guards, locking the executioner inside the cell.

He doesn't want to draw attention to the knocked out executioner inside. If Gwaine lied to get Merlin out, Arthur wants to give them as much time to escape as possible.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Merlin follows Gwaine through the lower town, past the cluster of houses around the tavern and keeps walking, down a winding cobblestone path toward what appears to be a Church.

"Huh." Merlin says, "I always thought you'd live close to the tavern, easy access and all."

"Aha! That's what everyone expects. This way no one can find me." Gwaine responds gleefully.

There's a beautiful house to the left of the church, a pin of chickens and a well maintained garden to its side and a smaller cottage behind it with fresh flowers in the window.

 _There's no way Gwaine lives here._ Merlin thinks.

"Welcome to my humble abode!" Gwaine declares, waving his arms in front of the place in a dramatic, showy gesture.

"Do you even know whose house we're breaking into?" Merlin responds, expression flat.

Gwaine just smiles broadly at him and walks up and into the house, not even bothering to knock.

"Hello, Muri!" Gwaine calls to a woman with long chestnut brown hair who turns from the stove to greet him.

"Gwaine! So good to see you. Long day at training?" The woman replies happily. Merlin is a little incredulous. Is Gwaine seeing this woman? She looks a bit older than him, maybe early forties? She moves forward to greet Gwaine with a hug.

Gwaine picks her up, amidst calls of "Put me down, oh put me down, you!" that sound more delighted than frightened. Gwaine twirls her twice. She leans in and kisses his cheek when he finally sets her down.

"Muriel, this is my good friend Merlin." Gwaine says, "And I have it on good authority that he's starving."

"Oh goodness! The servant to the Prince! Yes, I was just making dinner now. And the pie is almost done. Let me set the table" Muriel says hurriedly, busily moving around the kitchen and staring at Merlin every other second or so.

"Oh, don't trouble yourself." Merlin says, moving forward to help.

"No Merlin, you sit down. You're a very important person, right hand of the Prince." Gwaine says smiling, as he pushes Merlin into a chair. "Or princess rather." He whispers against Merlin's ear.

"Yes!" Muriel agrees. "He's a very important guest. " Then a moment later, "Oh heavens, I didn't even dust!"

Merlin's a bit overwhelmed. No one's ever made a fuss about him before. Gwaine is the knight, and he doesn't know who Muriel is, but he's certain no one should be making a fuss about him. It's true the title "Prince's Manservant" would give him some prestige but he's never taken advantage of it before.

"Oh, I still need to set the table!" Muriel calls as she pulls the pie out of the oven and moves to stir a pot of roast on the stove.

"Don't worry, I'm on it!" Gwaine says happily as he moves into the next room.

Merlin sits at the table feeling very out of place. He had always thought of Gwaine as a bit of a loner. Seeing him so happily domestic is quite a shock. Of course, they were wasting precious time that he could be on his way to Arthur in, but he could tell already that Gwaine cared for this Muriel person, and Merlin didn't want to rob him of this interaction. If Gwaine returned with him to the castle to fight, he could easily die. And there was probably an order to arrest Gwaine on sight after his attack on the executioner, so Gwaine would not even be safe to stay in Camelot.

Merlin had never thought Gwaine had developed roots here, but now he sensed the pain of sacrifice Gwaine's decision to save him meant. Gwaine would almost surely have to leave Camelot, and this home he had somehow built. Merlin began to wish Gwaine hadn't saved him.

"I hope chicken roast is alright with you." Muriel calls from the stove.

"Yes, it's fine." Merlin responds, trying to keep his voice even.

Curiosity outweighs Merlin's sense of politeness as it often does, and he finds himself asking Muriel, "So, Gwaine, he lives here?"

"Oh yes, in the cottage out back." Muriel replies.

"The one with flowers in the window?" Merlin confirms incredulously.

"Yes! Aren't they beautiful? Gwaine brings some from the castle gardens every day he has training. Although I suppose he was too distracted with you today." Muriel says brightly.

Merlin can't even process that. Do the other knights know? Do they make fun of him for his carrying flowers? Somehow he doubts it. He thinks Gwaine has worked hard to keep this part of his life private.

"So, you and Gwaine," Merlin starts, "You're together."

"Oh, heavens no!" She replies. "Mind you he's a good looking gentleman, but my heart will always belong to my Benjamin."

She looks a bit sad as she says the last part, but she's still mostly smiling. Merlin thinks off hand that Gwaine did a great job of finding someone as upbeat and charming as he is.

"So, how do you know Gwaine?" Merlin continues.

"He came by the church, asking about a place to live. He's been a god send." Muriel confides in Merlin. "After my husband's passing last fall, we were sure to lose the house. My eldest son is only eight and we didn't have a way of paying the taxes with just the money my daughters and I made from selling the vegetables and chickens at market. The Church helped some, but I knew we were close to having to give up our home."

"And Gwaine moved into the cottage and pays rent?" Merlin asks.

"Yes! An exorbitant amount, but he wouldn't hear of paying any less. And he brings most of the food for the family." Merlin nods. Knights of Camelot are paid better than any other profession. It makes sense that Gwaine would want to share his wealth, because he's always been that kind of person. And it could be part of the reason Gwaine has seemed so much happier this time in Camelot.

"You've made such a beautiful home here." Merlin said. "It would be terrible to have to leave it, especially since you built it with Benjamin. Everything must still feel like him."

"You understand exactly!" Muriel says brightly, tears in the corner of her eyes. "Every nook of this house is a piece of Ben to me. It's all our memories of the best times of our lives. Just being here, I feel close to him."

Merlin understands. His mother was the same way when his father disappeared.

Merlin looks up to see Gwaine standing in the doorway, a soft smile on his lips and a stack of plates and wooden utensils in his hands. Merlin's not sure how long he's been there, but Muriel hasn't noticed him.

A full minute of silence passes before Gwaine chuckles loudly and walks in with the plates. Muriel rings a bell at the kitchen window and within minutes four children have bustled in and Merlin finds himself enjoying a loud and boisterous meal and feeling more like a family than he has since Ealdor with his Mother and Will. He lets himself enjoy it, smiling and telling jokes with Gwaine to the children. After all, this might be his and Gwaine's last moment to relax and feel at home. He wishes Arthur were here to enjoy it. A loving family is something Arthur deserves to be a part of.

Throughout dinner Gwaine recounts stories and adventures with Merlin, Arthur, and the knights as if Merlin is a great hero, rather than just the servant, and Merlin does his best to convince them all that Gwaine is the heroic one, upping his tales until they border on pure ridiculous. They are still outdoing each other as Merlin starts clearing plates off the table and bringing them to Hazel, the eldest daughter, at the sink. Gwaine had just claimed that Merlin single handedly took out a caravan of bandits.

"Well, he killed Wyrens in the ruins of the Fisher King's castle!" Merlin exclaims of Gwaine.

"And HE managed to trap himself in a secret chamber with the Fisher King's golden trident! And really, kids, you can't be more heroic than that!" Gwaine follows.

Muriel, Hazel, and Merlin burst into laughter at that, but the youngest boy seems convinced it was a heroic action.

"He trapped himself to protect you and the Prince?" He asks.

"Yes he did! Because he's magic!" Gwaine replied enthusiastically.

Merlin's breath leaves him in a rush and he clutches the plate he was holding to his chest.

"Magic?" The boy asks. "How did you know?"

The room has become very quiet aside from Gwaine and the boy. All three daughters and Muriel are looking at Merlin with expressions of apprehension and alarm.

"Because the guardian of the bridge said, 'Strength and Magic have arrived' and I know Merlin isn't strength, no matter how many bandits he can take out." Gwaine answers victoriously.

No one else has moved. Muriel looks visibly disturbed. "I think Merlin needs to leave." She says.

Gwaine turns around in his chair and looks at her with an expression of shock. Merlin still hasn't found the ability to move. The plate he was gripping to his chest slips out of his hands and falls to the floor. It breaks in two as it hits the ground.

"Muriel," Gwaine says in a soft tone. "I was only joking. Merlin isn't magic, and he can't take out a whole caravan of bandits."

Muriel seems to relax a bit. "Gwaine, you mustn't joke like that. People have been killed for less here in Camelot."

"I always forget, being from out of town. I'm sorry I startled you." Gwaine replies.

"Just don't do it again. Don't talk about the M word at all." Muriel replies scalding.

"We will head on back to the cottage now. The pie was delicious." Gwaine says, standing and grabbing Merlin loosely by the arm, tugging him out the door and towards the cottage. Merlin notes that several hours have passed since they arrived and the sun is now setting.

 _Does Gwaine know Merlin is magic?_ Merlin wonders. He had somehow never thought Gwaine would have caught on at the bridge, but it seems obvious he did. And if Gwaine believed the man on the bridge it would be easy to conclude that Merlin was the one with magic. _So Gwaine knows? He's known since the Fisher King and he's never said anything?_

King Uther had declared it treason to not report a known sorcerer to the Court. He had declared it punishable by death. _Why would Gwaine keep this information to himself?_

When they reach the cottage a moment later, Gwaine does a quick sweep of the perimeter before moving himself and Merlin inside. He lights a candle and glances around the one room cottage quickly before turning to Merlin and wrapping him in a hug.

"You know." Merlin murmurs into his shoulder.

"Yes." Gwaine answers. "I actually suspected it from the first bar fight. Funny, you thought you were subtle."

"Why didn't you turn me in?"

Gwaine leans back to see Merlin's face. "Because you're my friend" he replies.

Merlin nods, relieved Gwaine has accepted him and his deepest secret.

"I'm sorry that went so poorly." Gwaine continues stepping back and sitting down in a small wooden chair by his table. "I probably should have kept it from them, but I wanted to see how Muriel would react. To know if it would be safe for us to come back here once we left."

"You mean you brought it up intentionally?" Merlin asks, surprised.

"Yes." Gwaine answers. "If she had been accepting we might have been able to hide out here in the future."

"So you are accepting of magic?" Merlin wonders aloud.

"Yes. In the town where I grew up magic was welcomed. There were many good sorcerers who used magic to heal and bring crops. It was considered a gift." Gwaine replies.

The answer is so straight forward and simple. Merlin often wonders what it would have been like to grow up somewhere far from Camelot, where magic was appreciated instead of feared. He sits down in the chair across from Gwaine.

"So, now that we're being honest with each other" Gwaine begins, looking across at Merlin, "did you curse yourself?"

"Why does everyone keep thinking that? I'm not that incompetent." Merlin exclaims.

"Just checking." Gwaine answers, broad smile on his lips. Merlin looks up and smiles for the first time since they've entered the cottage.

Merlin yawns loudly, extending his arms above his head, stretching slowly, then yawning again and shaking his head from side to side to make sure Gwaine sees. He might be overdoing it slightly, but if he can just get Gwaine to fall asleep he can go back to the castle and help Arthur. Gwaine doesn't need to come with him. He'll just risk being killed and Merlin doesn't want to lose Gwaine.

"Yeah, I'm tired too." Gwaine says. "There's only one bed, but we can share. Percival and I managed one night and he's twice the size of you."

Merlin smiles, pleased that his plan worked so easily.


	10. Strength Under Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uther is blind to his faults, the most glaring one his stance on magic and the effect it is having on his kingdom. Arthur, as usual, is left to deal with the backlash. It is more harrowing than he or his knights could possibly imagine, and it's only getting worse. It's tearing him apart, and it may destroy his trust in the only person he truly loves.

Arthur hears the warning bell chiming, and it tears his concentration from the cell in front of him with the locked-in executioner and disrupts his thoughts. _I suppose someone fixed the bell_ fills his mind, displacing his thoughts of the man in the cell before him. He has to focus hard to remember. It isn't right to let the panic around him make him disorganized.

He remembers his train of thought. _Is it right to leave the executioner here? What if the castle goes under siege and he is forgotten about locked down here and starves to death?_ Arthur doesn't like it. It isn't honorable to leave a man who was doing his duty to Camelot's King wrongfully imprisoned, but letting him out will endanger Merlin.

Arthur picks up some bread the guards left in their hasty departure and throws it into the cell. Leon won't question him.

"Come" he says to Leon. The entire castle is bustling with terror as Leon and Arthur stride through it. Arthur stops a serving girl coming away from the throne room. Growing close to Merlin has taught him that servants have eyes and ears too. He needs information immediately. For all he knows the attack has already started and he's heading in the wrong direction.  
"What has transpired?" he asks her.

"The man who rides with the knights, Lance, he brings news of Bayard's attacking army. They come from the west, the army stretches greater than the eye can see, he says, sire." She answers, curling in on herself and shaking as she curtseys.

As if the terror in her voice didn't make her feelings obvious enough.

Arthur hates to see his people upset. He hates to see them doubting in Camelot's strength, in their strength, because Camelot's strength has always been its people.

"Stand tall. Camelot will prevail." Arthur says to her.

She straightens, but she doesn't seem assured. Never mind, Arthur cannot afford to waste time with this girl.

"Tell the kitchen not to forget about the prisoners locked in the dungeons. Obviously, they aren't our first priority in the event of a siege, but I would prefer to not see them starve to death." He tells her. She nods and hurries off.

As Arthur throws open the doors to the throne room, he sees Lancelot kneeling in the center. Uther is yelling at different council members. Arthur says, "Father," to make his presence known.

"Arthur, we are moving as many people from the lower town as can fit into the Citadel. Then we will be preparing for a siege. Oversee the gathering of crops and any food items into the city. We will outlast Bayard's army. Mass cannot account for tactical advantage, or for the strength of Camelot!" Uther calls out to his heir amongst cheers from his court and people.

It is in moments like these that Uther proves what a strong king he is. There is not a hint of fear in his demeanor and he manages to appeal to the people's strength and courage in every order he issues. Arthur nods and turns out the door, Leon following, and Lancelot coming at his heels.

"I wish to help you, sire." Lancelot calls to him.

Arthur considered it dreadfully unfair when his father denied Lancelot knightship because of his birth. Lancelot had proven, with the slaying of the Griffin, what an asset he could be to Camelot and Arthur had allowed him to train with the knights and had even written him into patrol duty. In Arthur's mind, Lancelot was a knight in all but name, and he intended to fix that when he took the throne.

"Yes, Lancelot, I would have you nowhere else." Arthur responds, turning his head to meet Lancelot's eye and nod his respect, without breaking his stride.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin peaks an eye open to stare at Gwaine's prone form. His chest is rising slowly in time with his breathing, he has his right arm stretched across his eyes, blocking what light there is in the dim room. Merlin also notices Gwaine isn't wearing a shirt, but that's a detail better not focused on. For all intents and purposes, Gwaine appears asleep.

Limiting the victory dance to inside, Merlin carefully extracts himself from the blanket and moves to get dressed. Gwaine had talked about getting supplies, but Merlin figures he won't need most of them anyway, with the magic, and it's better not to risk Gwaine waking up. He has to get out before Gwaine notices, and hope that Gwaine has the good sense not to follow. Some food would be nice though, Merlin ponders wistfully as his stomach rumbles.

He moves to the table, struggling with his right boot that his foot still hasn't settled in, and sees a loaf of bread already set out.

"Hun" Merlin wonders. Did Gwaine wake up before him and lay the bread out? Or did Muriel sneak in and leave it for them?

Merlin splits it in two and takes his half with him on the road, shutting Gwaine's cottage door quietly behind him. He still can't believe Gwaine lives here. Getting back to the street is difficult as the night has settled fully now, and many places in the lower town chose to go without torchlight at night. Burning torches was expensive, and not everyone had that luxury. Merlin hadn't even realized he'd made his own blue torch in his hand until he found himself trying to hastily end it when he heard footsteps in front of him.

Two soldiers from Arthur's guard walked in the glow of their torches. Merlin couldn't remember their names, but he knew they were knights.

"I just don't understand what Arthur hopes to accomplish in the night. We've already gathered weeks worth of crops from the outer villages. At this point we don't have anywhere to stack them and the food is going to rot before we can eat it all."

"You're right, Eowan, but I think the Prince and the people fear starvation more than rotting food. If nothing else, it is good to show the people there will be plenty to eat. It will calm them in the coming siege."

"When some of the wheat starts to turn it will infect the rest. The Prince doesn't know much about farming, war is what he's best at."

Merlin could fix that problem with a preservation spell. Of course, he might not have the opportunity to go to the food stores, depending on how this night went.

"I'm surprised Bayard hasn't attacked yet. What is he waiting for, do you reckon?"

"Maybe he's trying to terrify everyone. Knowing he could strike at any moment?"

"It's still dumb to give us the time to gather the crops and store supplies for the siege." Eowan continued, "Think about if he'd attacked yesterday. We'd have been weaponless and hungry. That'd be a much better tactical advantage for him."

Merlin sees the knights heading out towards the fields, to Arthur. So he follows them, casting a spell on his feet to make his progress silent. Merlin has always felt clumsier when he had to hide his magic. When he could be himself, out in the woods, he could let his magic radiate from him and sense when a rock or root was in his way, but he didn't have that luxury now, and he couldn't afford the noise his clumsiness would cause him. _It'd be great to have an invisibility spell too_ , he thinks. Then he would really be the best at infiltration. Following secretly would be almost effortless.

"Eowan, Tegyr, we are loading the last of the crops. Assist this group back to the castle. Eowan, you've experience with farming, yes?" Arthur's voice rings clear in the night air. Arthur's form is visible in the light of the torch he carries, a good ten yards from Merlin in the middle of a field. Knights and farmers are gathering food and holding torches all around.

"Yes, my lord." Eowan responds.

"Oversee the food storage, do what you can to make it last." Arthur orders.

Both Eowan and the other knight, who Merlin realizes must be Tegyr smile at the order. Merlin smiles too. Arthur turns to look in Merlin's direction, where Merlin trusts the dark to hide him. Arthur's eyes are searching for a moment, before they widen in shock as the wheat in front of him erupts into a wall of fire.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lancelot is pulling Arthur back and he half walks half falls into him. Lancelot supports most of Arthur's weight as he drags him back from the flames, only there's another wall of fire behind them. Lancelot stops, Arthur can feel him turning frantically looking for a way out. The torch in Arthur's hand slips, falling towards the ground. Arthur only just catches it, glancing around, he sees that several of his knights dropped their torches. Small fires have erupted inside the two parallel walls of fire. The fire doesn't surround them. They could exit at either end, only Arthur watches as the fire rapidly spreads the entire distance of the field. Arthur can feel the heat of the fire on his skin, it's converging on them, moving inwards. There's no way they will be able to reach the end of the field before the fire engulfs him and his men. It seems like jumping through and enduring the burns is the only way to survive. The fire has grown two rows thick, lengthening the space Arthur and his trapped men need to jump through. Arthur's indecision has already cost him dearly. "We must go through!" Arthur calls to his men, as he throws his torch into the fire, and jumps through in one fluid movement using both arms to block his face. He falls to the ground when he feels he's cleared the fire and rolls to smother the flames. Only there are no flames. He has no burns and none of his clothing is singed. He looks up and sees his men jumping through all around, none of them have burns.

Arthur doesn't understand. It must be sorcery. Sorcery would explain how the fires started and grew so rapidly, and how they kept the knights contained, and also how the fire could be made harmless, or perhaps his knights shielded? But those seemed like competing interests. Would the sorcerer who set the fire be the same who kept his knights unharmed? Were they in the middle of a sorcerer stand-off? Or was it meant as a warning. Did Bayard have sorcerers?

Arthur glances back at the fire, and sees Sir Owain still inside. He looks panicked and doesn't seem to be breathing.

"Owain, you need to jump through the fire. It will not burn you." Arthur calls.

Owain doesn't seem to hear him. His eyes are glazed and panicked, unseeing as he stares at the rapidly growing flames.

"Owain, _please_ ," Arthur calls. "You have to jump through. We don't have any time!"

Everyone knows of Owain's burns. They are visible even now on his arms and legs, shimmering in the twisted light of the flames against his skin. It looks like he's trapped in time in the act of being burned. Arthur imagines he's trapped in his memories of the fire that killed his little brother Pellie, when their barn caught flame as they played with torches in the dry summer night over a decade ago. Owain had been near the door, but he'd jumped through the flames to try and save his brother. The roof had collapsed around them before he could reach Pellinor. Their father was able to drag Owain out, and he said he was sitting calmly in a circle of flames when he found him. Not reacting at all.

There's a scream from one of his knights as Owain sits down. The smoke is making it impossible for Arthur to breathe. He can't stand here calmly while his knight dies.

"I'm going to get him." Arthur calls. He isn't sure how he's going to carry him out, barely able to breathe himself through the thick smoke, but he'll manage it or die trying. He isn't going to let Owain's worst nightmare come true.

A firm grip on Arthur's left arm holds him back. Lancelot is there shaking his head.

"We haven't any _TIME!_ " Arthur yells, not recognizing his own broken voice, lunging forward to break Lance's grip.

Lancelot follows him forward and motions for Arthur to look back at the flames. Percival has jumped through them. "I have him." He calls.

As Percival jumps through with a Owain bundled in his arms, the fire flashes blue at the edges and Percival's ankle catches fire.


	11. Unknown Influence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin reveals his influence on the fire the knight's face. Arthur gravely miscalculates and Leon along with the rest of Camelot is left to endure the fallout.

Merlin is stunned as he watches the flames engulf the knights. For a moment he thinks they are being burned alive, before he realizes the fire is just on either side of them. Merlin knows only one thing that could start a fire like that and he senses it everywhere: magic. He moves forward out of the darkness and towards the fire, he’s exposing his position to the knights and onlookers, but he needs to be closer to stop this. He doesn’t know how to counter the fire, he can create fire, but he doesn’t know how to vanquish it and the power he’s sensing in front of him is great; as if there are many sorcerers feeding the flames. It’s greater than he can stop.

Merlin hears Arthur call to his men to jump through and realizes there is no time. He might not be able to stop the fire, but he is a dragon lord and himself immune to flames. There’s a word for his body’s invincibility to flames, a word in the Dragon tongue that Merlin speaks instinctually into the cool night air, willing it to extend to the Knights before him and make them immune to the fire. 

Merlin can see it working, and he feels almost no drain on his magic. He realizes that incorporating his natural talent as a dragon lord has given him an additional reserve of magical energy that no other sorcerer could understand or predict. He’s not sure if he understands it himself, but he feels it. And he knows it will be a hefty advantage.  
Merlin looks back at the knights, still maintaining the spell because one is still inside the flames. Merlin can hold the magic longer, but he wishes the knight would hurry. Even a small drain is still a drain on his magic, and he does not need that when there is a potential army of enemy soldiers sending fires at his Arthur. 

_Come on,_ Merlin thinks. 

Then the bloody clot pole sits down. _Of course he does_ , Merlin thinks. _This is one of Arthur’s knights._

 _Can’t be seen doing something sensible._ Merlin laments. _Of course, he is a man who’s chosen to run around in a metal suit fighting things, so Merlin probably shouldn’t expect anything less, thin line between courage and stupidity and all that._

Merlin sees Arthur struggling to jump into the flames, Lancelot restraining him. Merlin realizes with a sudden horror as Arthur throws his head back against Lancelot, extending his neck to pull in a long shaky, wheezing breath, that he did nothing to counter against the smoke. 

Merlin is so focused on Arthur that he doesn’t feel the current of magical energy surging towards him until it collides with his person. He feels his hold on the knights disintegrate, sees Percival’s ankle on fire as he almost clears the flames. There’s a rustling behind him, someone or something moving quickly towards him, feet crunching on the rough, dry wheat. Merlin realizes it’s likely the sorcerer who attacked him, but he can think nothing else as everything goes dark around him. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

“We are under attack. Retreat to the castle! Carry what food you can grasp!” Arthur orders still coughing for breath.

All his knights are safely out of the fire. Bayard has sorcerer’s more powerful than Arthur’s ever seen, and an army visible behind them. Retreating to the castle is the only order that makes sense. The sorcerer’s and army will have to breach the formidable stone walls of Camelot’s fortress to enter. 

Arthur is grateful for the fire between him and Bayard’s army. It seems as if not even Bayard’s sorcerers are strong enough to extinguish it, and it gives his men time to retreat in safety. How, he wonders, were he and his men immune to the flames. If his enemies did that, can they not make themselves immune? 

Arthur doesn’t stay to find out. He’s wasted enough time already. He stands to join his men in the run to the castle. It’s hard to see through the smoke, but it seems everyone has left. Everyone except Lancelot, who is standing beside Arthur, and… _is that Gwaine?_ Arthur can just make out a man with Gwaine’s figure stumbling away across the field, half carrying half dragging a smaller person. _Merlin?!_ Arthur wonders. 

Arthur breaks away from Lancelot and begins running out towards Gwaine and Merlin, away from the castle. 

“Gwaine!” Arthur calls.

The figure stops in his tracks, turns to Arthur. It is Gwaine. His expression is both determined and furious. Arthur doesn’t understand.

“ Gwaine! Come with us to the castle.”Arthur calls, already heading towards him. There are only a hundred paces between them. Arthur will reach them soon. 

“Go back to the castle, Princess.” Gwaine calls back, voice devoid of humor. He lifts Merlin in his arms, throws him over his shoulder and runs. 

Arthur doesn’t understand. Why would Gwaine run from him? Arthur won’t be denied Merlin though. Not when he is so close. He runs after them. Even with the smoke clogging his lungs, he’s gaining on Gwaine. Gwaine reaches the tree line and disappears. 

“NOO!!” Arthur screams. He can’t see Merlin. Panic sets in, Arthur saw Gwaine dragging Merlin’s body. Arthur can’t even ask the question. He should be stronger than this. He isn’t though. Just the possibility is paralyzing him. Gwaine was carrying Merlin’s unresponsive body, _is Merlin dead?_

Arthur reaches the tree line, searching for Gwaine’s tracks. He finds none. That’s impossible, he thinks. It’s as if they have been cleared with magic.  
Lancelot grabs his shoulder. 

“Sire, we have to reach the castle before they draw the doors. You are needed to command.” Lancelot implores Arthur.

“Why would he run from me?” Arthur questions Lancelot. “Why? Unless, … I mean you no harm Gwaine, I know you incapacitated Merlin’s guard. I approve. You both have my blessing.”

Lancelot is looking at Arthur is confusion, but it quickly changes to awe. “You are truly magnanimous, Arthur.” Lancelot states. 

Arthur is confused at the praise. Lancelot missed Merlin’s imprisonment and Gwaine breaking him out, what does Lancelot think Arthur has done to deserve such a compliment?  
Heat bursts into Arthur’s awareness. He turns as one with Lance to see the flames have followed them. They are growing rapidly, uncontrollably expanding in all directions. They have grown to block the route back to the castle. Lance and Arthur both jump as one into the woods and begin running after Gwaine as fast as they can. They have no chance of making it to the castle to defend against the siege, and at the rate the fire is spreading; they likely won’t make it out of the woods alive. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Where’s Arthur! Where is my son!” Uther’s strangled cries are as terrifying as they are painful to Leon’s ears. He lost sight of Arthur in the field, shortly before it was consumed by flames. Had Arthur fallen to the flames? Worse still, was eliminating Arthur the enemies plan? Who would lead the troops with a wise and conciliating hand in Arthur’s absence? 

The balance of power in Camelot was delicate after Morgana’s betrayal and Uther was both too blinded by prejudice and too corrupted by pride to navigate the political unrest brewing inside Camelot and with her borders. Arthur with his just and generous nature handled these tensions effortlessly, uniting all factions, even magic-users followed Arthur, and placating Camelot’s bordering nations with the assurance that Camelot was not run solely by a bitter, capricious madman. It was likely that Arthur himself had no idea of the extent of his influence. There was no one to take his place.

Leon will do his best, but he knows he lacks Arthur’s charisma and judgment. People don’t follow Leon like they do Arthur. 

It’s too late to ponder this. Leon will act with absolute loyalty to his King. As first knight, it is his duty to hold his head high. Inwardly, though, Leon knows with sinking despair that separating Arthur from his Kingdom was a devastating tactical move. Whether Arthur is captured or killed, he is essentially powerless to mitigate Uther. Bayard likely just won.


End file.
